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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Stroke of Genesisdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Pprophet
    ASL Info:    19/m/FL
    Elite Ratio:    6.85 - 91/12/9
    Words: 276
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 668
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1770



    Description:
       One of the only songs I've ever finished, recorded.. and it made it to like..107 on the soundclick spoken word.. out of like.. 10,000 at the time.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStroke of Genesisdots
    -------------------------------------------


    "Stroke of Genesis"
    [hook]
    This is my stroke of genesis
    I've aspired too, is the hopes of menaces
    value life, because death was always a close nemesis
    raw emotion, I'm exposin men as this
    [hook]

    They say, the grass is always greener on the other side
    but the class act demanour, is never on the rise
    this is my time for a new beginning, a fresh start
    born again, this is what I get for your sinning, a blessed heart
    I don't know what my future holds, I never had a steady orgin
    not one to boast about my past, so conversation is already borin
    I can't really even believe i'm sittin here, without you
    the man I've become in your absence, makes me believe you've missed out too
    hungry for knowledge, but I can only know what I experience
    Insecurities, and their expectations, I live up to with appearences
    now, I know you and I never saw eye to eye
    still not a follower, but father forgave me, for that i'm obliged

    [hook]

    selfish ideals, tossed to the wind
    pawned off my soul, because it was the cost to win
    theres no going back, over burnt birdges
    Material posessions, but I lost more.. and those weren't wishes
    everyone who i hurt, its you I need
    do anything to prove, i'm turin a new leaf
    regrets torment, my every moral fiber
    I say i'm fine now, but..I'm a horrible liar
    abandoned by everyone, I can't blame them
    took advantage of, to me life was just a game then
    did alot of things, I'd rather forget
    one more chance, and i'm forever in debt




    Submitted on 2006-12-28 15:31:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      your rhyme scheme was well structured, but the flow was off. Im sure it sounds better when you say it out loud, but reading the mismatched multiple syllables was a little bumpy. The content was interesting though. some creative concepts..


    Nice work

    keep em coming.

    Sincerely
    sinceer
    | Posted on 2006-12-29 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    130259

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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