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    dots Submission Name: Paindots

    Author: mysterious one
    ASL Info:    24/f/in my head
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 58/57/17
    Words: 153
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 800
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 965


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Was it something I did,
    was it something I said,
    I asked these questions,
    as I lay in my bed

    What was he thinking,
    what right did he have,
    to use his fists,
    he was so mad

    My body hurt,
    my heart was aching,
    deep inside,
    I felt myself breaking

    Did it make him happy,
    did it make him feel proud,
    to see me cringe,
    on the floor as I bowed

    I closed my eyes,
    I felt so weak,
    I did as he said,
    I dared not to peak

    He spoke with authority,
    his hand I once trust,
    then came down on me,
    as he screamed and he cussed

    What did I do,
    to deserve such pain,
    I felt his anger,
    with every strike of the cain

    At last he stopped,
    the treterous fight,
    but will he do it again,
    there's a good chance he might

    Submitted on 2006-12-28 21:05:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this was very awakening!!! i can see in my mind as i read your words what was happening...great use of imagery to show readers what the physical pain of abuse is like. sorry if this really happened but if it did, know that you're not alone...others have been there and know how you feel. only question i had was "treterous" - i wasn't clear on what this meant but good work...keep it up!!!
    | Posted on 2006-12-29 00:00:00 | by scissorhands | [ Reply to This ]
      I can relate to the topic of this one, very painful not only physical, and I'm truly sorry if you have experienced this. Very well written and great expression of the way it feels both emotionally and physically when a woman is beaten like that.

    | Posted on 2006-12-28 00:00:00 | by precious_poetry | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written very well, though very sad. I hope that these words were just words. It'd really have to suck having that done, I can't say I can relate because the most I have ever been beaten was a spanking from my father. Anyway, nice poem it rocked hard. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading.

    Saint Razor
    | Posted on 2006-12-28 00:00:00 | by brknprlcndol | [ Reply to This ]

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