[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Paindots

    Author: mysterious one
    ASL Info:    24/f/in my head
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 58/57/17
    Words: 153
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 824
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 965


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Was it something I did,
    was it something I said,
    I asked these questions,
    as I lay in my bed

    What was he thinking,
    what right did he have,
    to use his fists,
    he was so mad

    My body hurt,
    my heart was aching,
    deep inside,
    I felt myself breaking

    Did it make him happy,
    did it make him feel proud,
    to see me cringe,
    on the floor as I bowed

    I closed my eyes,
    I felt so weak,
    I did as he said,
    I dared not to peak

    He spoke with authority,
    his hand I once trust,
    then came down on me,
    as he screamed and he cussed

    What did I do,
    to deserve such pain,
    I felt his anger,
    with every strike of the cain

    At last he stopped,
    the treterous fight,
    but will he do it again,
    there's a good chance he might

    Submitted on 2006-12-28 21:05:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this was very awakening!!! i can see in my mind as i read your words what was happening...great use of imagery to show readers what the physical pain of abuse is like. sorry if this really happened but if it did, know that you're not alone...others have been there and know how you feel. only question i had was "treterous" - i wasn't clear on what this meant but good work...keep it up!!!
    | Posted on 2006-12-29 00:00:00 | by scissorhands | [ Reply to This ]
      I can relate to the topic of this one, very painful not only physical, and I'm truly sorry if you have experienced this. Very well written and great expression of the way it feels both emotionally and physically when a woman is beaten like that.

    | Posted on 2006-12-28 00:00:00 | by precious_poetry | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written very well, though very sad. I hope that these words were just words. It'd really have to suck having that done, I can't say I can relate because the most I have ever been beaten was a spanking from my father. Anyway, nice poem it rocked hard. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading.

    Saint Razor
    | Posted on 2006-12-28 00:00:00 | by brknprlcndol | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Genesis written by saartha
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]