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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Where do Enchanted Flowers Grow?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 382
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 854
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2652



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhere do Enchanted Flowers Grow?dots
    -------------------------------------------




    High in the storybook mountains
    at the border of forever cold
    ice melts into silver fountains.

    The children of Sprites
    so sparkling and bright
    ride bumblebee stallions
    with cries of delight.

    Fairies sprinkle passion
    that drifts to form rainbows.
    The sun gleams down
    like a golden medallion
    glinting off dewdrops
    more dazzling than diamonds.

    High in the storybook mountains
    stands a marvelous castle
    with pillars of moonbeams
    the color of sweet dreams.

    A stairway of good luck
    floats into forever skies
    where opals of starlight
    dance for a princess and
    paint patterns on pathways
    to astounding adventures
    and (always!) true love.

    High in the storybook mountains
    That’s all there was to see and-
    Well, that’s not where they grow.

              So!
    Where do enchanted flowers grow?

    deep in the swamp biting flies buzz around
    cavorting with snakes the color of clowns
    the odor of rotten animal decay
    tells all the buzzards to come out and play

    and adding to the pall thru stench of it all
    are snuffling creatures of sharp tooth and claw
    fungus and slime shine on fruit rinds
    and worms are so lucky, because they are blind

    cypress trees harbor mosquitoes and fleas
    sweet harbingers of evil disease
    rats run in packs their beady eyes are so black
    always staring burning holes smack in your back

    bats on the wing are a skitter-some-thing
    and the only songs the swamp ever sings
    are haunting croaks and choked off cries
    as more and more of its victims die

    the stars and the moon are only dreams
    why should they waste their glorious beams
    deep in the swamp sat a bellowing frog
    like an old man perched on a log

              So!

    knowing frogs are not always what they
    seem I asked him if he knew where
    enchanted flowers grew. Imagine my surprise
    when he told me something that I had known
    all along. He told me enchanted flowers
    only grow in the minds and hearts of children
    and poets, and he also offered this advice----

    “If I were you I would get my butt out of this swamp
    and go back to those storybook mountains”




    Submitted on 2006-12-29 00:26:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed this poem a lot!
    You really draw the reader in with all the fanciful images of imagination, then bring them back to Earth (and reality) in the stinks and slinking things in the swamp.

    What little girl doesnt imagine herself a princess who finds true love with a prince in a gleaming castle aglow with moonbeams and alive with cavorting fairies? Then, as the same little girl grows up, she sees for herself that there are no castles or princes bearing true love...just the bogs and bugs of real life. That's quite a wake-up call; a serious reality check.

    But, what I like the best about this poem, is that you (through that wise, fat frog) tell readers that enchantment is real; that it can be found. You just have to know where to look.

    Nice work!
    | Posted on 2010-12-01 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      
    This was a delightful read, humorous, and fast paced with some enchanting fairy-tale images interspersed with some creepy-crawlies. I sounds like it was written for a child, but is definitely appealing to adults too.( Or at least grandmothers!) I have only a few small suggestions, --cut down on excess words like ( “the, and, but, and pronouns etc.) where you can to improve the rhythm and to unclutter the imagery. In S1 L3 , I think you can drop ” liquid”, as it is impled anyway, and it improves the meter in that line. You might consider isolating the last 2 lines with a dash to replace “He said;” I took out some extra words where the italicized parts are below, --but overall I really enjoyed this and will share it with my grandchildren tomorrow. ( They love it when I find poems for them on this site, and tha’s getting harder to do it seems---so Thank You!

    Silver

    High in the storybook mountains
    at the border of forever cold,
    ice melts into silver fountains.
    Children of Sprites
    so sparkling and bright
    ride bumblebee stallions
    with cries of delight.

    Fairies sprinkle passion
    that drifts to form rainbows.

    The sun gleams down
    like a golden medallion,
    glinting off dewdrops
    more dazzling than diamonds.

    High in the storybook mountains
    stands a marvellous castle,
    with pillars of moonbeams
    colored with sweet dreams.

    A stairway of good luck
    floats into forever skies,
    where opals of starlight
    dance for a princess and
    paint patterns on pathways
    to amazing adventure
    and always true love.


    High in the storybook mountains
    That’s all there was to see and-
    Well, that’s not where they grow.
    So!
    Where do enchanted flowers grow?

    deep in the swamp biting flies buzz around
    cavorting with snakes the color of clowns
    the odor of rotten animal decay
    tells all the buzzards to come out and play
    and adding to the pall thru stench of it all
    are snuffling creatures of sharp tooth and claw
    fungus and slime shine on fruit rinds
    and worms are so lucky, because they are blind
    cypress trees harbor mosquitoes and fleas
    sweet harbingers of evil disease
    rats run in packs their beady eyes black.
    glaring and burning holes smack in your back

    bats on the wing are a skitter-some-thing
    and the only songs the swamp ever sings
    are haunting croaks and choked off cries
    as more and more of its victims die
    the stars and the moon are only dreams
    why should they waste their glorious beams
    deep in the swamp sat a bellowing frog
    like an old man perched on a log
    So
    knowing frogs are not always what they
    seem I asked him if he knew where
    enchanted flowers grew. Imagine my surprise
    when he told me something that I had known
    all along. He told me enchanted flowers
    only grow in the minds and hearts of children
    and poets, and he also offered this advice—

    “If I were you, I would get my butt out
    this swamp and go back to those storybook mountains”
    | Posted on 2006-12-30 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, the beginning was the ending while the middle was simply the middle. And i really thought enchanted flowers grew in those swamps and those jungles where people can hardly get access to. And then out of surprise, you tell me that those flowers grow in the minds of childrens- and poets.
    What a read.

    I found although the idea very moving and interesting and somehow nostalgic, i belive there were certain parts where i was kinda lost especially the part of the old man. It was very hard for me to picture after all the descriptive places we can find enchanting flowers to picture an old man giving out advice. I also found the poem to be quite long even a bit discouraging. But i guess there aren't a lot of patient pesons these days including myself. Still, i'm happy to read this. It was worth reading. I loved your ideas.
    Take care.....

    Irina
    | Posted on 2006-12-29 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      Haha, I really like it. And what an interesting ending! I was quite in the mood for a poem of this sort, with lots of dreamy imagery and flowers in this storybook world you presented. Sometimes I wish I could just be lost in a sparkling world of fairytales and shining suns and bright little flowers. There were lots of striking phrases, but there's always just one of two that really stick with you for one reason or another, ya know?
    "Fairies sprinkle passions
    that drift to form rainbows."
    I really liked the idea of this, it's very lovely to think about.
    Thank you for such a lovely read!

    -Lucy
    | Posted on 2006-12-29 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]


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