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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Trustdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BusterLILblock
    ASL Info:    21/F
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 452/270/50
    Words: 47
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1216
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 263



    Description:
       big mouth


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTrustdots
    -------------------------------------------


    An open wound must be shut
    with the thread of trust

    My lips were sealed for a while
    until the thread broke from rust

    can this be?
    the thread was too thin

    Well then
    we must sew it again!




    Submitted on 2006-12-29 17:14:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      
    My lips were sealed for a while
    until the thread broke from rust


    Alright...

    Firstly, and I'm probably looking too deep.
    Why would you sew someone's mouth shut even metaphorically with something that could / would rust o_O?

    --
    Also the 'for a while' sets up the next rhyme for something that rhymed with 'while'. The word rust really hindered it.
    Over all
    6.5/10 (Being nice only because i loved the ending)
    But it didn't blow my mind :3 still good.
    | Posted on 2010-09-21 00:00:00 | by idonthaveaname | [ Reply to This ]
      I couldn't help but read this again...AZU!!!!
    | Posted on 2009-12-17 00:00:00 | by Jaiknob | [ Reply to This ]
      dude this sounds like something u would say while jumping rope. i dont exactly know why though, it reminds me bout growing up & learning from our mistakes.
    | Posted on 2009-05-28 00:00:00 | by geekyslacker | [ Reply to This ]
      trust is hard to again once it's has being broken
    | Posted on 2009-04-26 00:00:00 | by littlepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      remains my favorite...
    | Posted on 2007-12-25 00:00:00 | by Jaiknob | [ Reply to This ]
      yo dis poem is mad chill.

    stay gold
    Grim
    | Posted on 2007-10-07 00:00:00 | by WD-40 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is cute. i liked the we must sew iyt again.

    dont worry i have the biggest mouth on earth yo.
    | Posted on 2006-12-29 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]
      lol i liked this, "Well then, I must re-read this again!" lol
    -alexis
    | Posted on 2006-12-29 00:00:00 | by darkwiccan14 | [ Reply to This ]


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