My lips were sealed for a while
until the thread broke from rust
Firstly, and I'm probably looking too deep.
Why would you sew someone's mouth shut even metaphorically with something that could / would rust o_O?
Also the 'for a while' sets up the next rhyme for something that rhymed with 'while'. The word rust really hindered it.
6.5/10 (Being nice only because i loved the ending)
But it didn't blow my mind :3 still good.