Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Trustdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BusterLILblock
    ASL Info:    21/F
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 452/270/50
    Words: 47
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1238
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 263



    Description:
       big mouth


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTrustdots
    -------------------------------------------


    An open wound must be shut
    with the thread of trust

    My lips were sealed for a while
    until the thread broke from rust

    can this be?
    the thread was too thin

    Well then
    we must sew it again!




    Submitted on 2006-12-29 17:14:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      
    My lips were sealed for a while
    until the thread broke from rust


    Alright...

    Firstly, and I'm probably looking too deep.
    Why would you sew someone's mouth shut even metaphorically with something that could / would rust o_O?

    --
    Also the 'for a while' sets up the next rhyme for something that rhymed with 'while'. The word rust really hindered it.
    Over all
    6.5/10 (Being nice only because i loved the ending)
    But it didn't blow my mind :3 still good.
    | Posted on 2010-09-21 00:00:00 | by idonthaveaname | [ Reply to This ]
      I couldn't help but read this again...AZU!!!!
    | Posted on 2009-12-17 00:00:00 | by Jaiknob | [ Reply to This ]
      dude this sounds like something u would say while jumping rope. i dont exactly know why though, it reminds me bout growing up & learning from our mistakes.
    | Posted on 2009-05-28 00:00:00 | by geekyslacker | [ Reply to This ]
      trust is hard to again once it's has being broken
    | Posted on 2009-04-26 00:00:00 | by littlepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      remains my favorite...
    | Posted on 2007-12-25 00:00:00 | by Jaiknob | [ Reply to This ]
      yo dis poem is mad chill.

    stay gold
    Grim
    | Posted on 2007-10-07 00:00:00 | by WD-40 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is cute. i liked the we must sew iyt again.

    dont worry i have the biggest mouth on earth yo.
    | Posted on 2006-12-29 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]
      lol i liked this, "Well then, I must re-read this again!" lol
    -alexis
    | Posted on 2006-12-29 00:00:00 | by darkwiccan14 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    130352

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Cover written by saartha
    Are not cheap (working title) written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Love written by saartha
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    The Azores written by poetotoe
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Push written by JanePlane
    Once Again written by krs3332003

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry