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Author: BusterLILblock
ASL Info:    21/F
Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 452 /270 /50
Words: 47
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1755
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 263


big mouth


An open wound must be shut
with the thread of trust

My lips were sealed for a while
until the thread broke from rust

can this be?
the thread was too thin

Well then
we must sew it again!

Submitted on 2006-12-29 17:14:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


My lips were sealed for a while
until the thread broke from rust


Firstly, and I'm probably looking too deep.
Why would you sew someone's mouth shut even metaphorically with something that could / would rust o_O?

Also the 'for a while' sets up the next rhyme for something that rhymed with 'while'. The word rust really hindered it.
Over all
6.5/10 (Being nice only because i loved the ending)
But it didn't blow my mind :3 still good.
| Posted on 2010-09-21 00:00:00 | by idonthaveaname | [ Reply to This ]
  I couldn't help but read this again...AZU!!!!
| Posted on 2009-12-17 00:00:00 | by Jaiknob | [ Reply to This ]
  dude this sounds like something u would say while jumping rope. i dont exactly know why though, it reminds me bout growing up & learning from our mistakes.
| Posted on 2009-05-28 00:00:00 | by geekyslacker | [ Reply to This ]
  trust is hard to again once it's has being broken
| Posted on 2009-04-26 00:00:00 | by littlepoet | [ Reply to This ]
  remains my favorite...
| Posted on 2007-12-25 00:00:00 | by Jaiknob | [ Reply to This ]
  yo dis poem is mad chill.

stay gold
| Posted on 2007-10-07 00:00:00 | by WD-40 | [ Reply to This ]
  this is cute. i liked the we must sew iyt again.

dont worry i have the biggest mouth on earth yo.
| Posted on 2006-12-29 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]
  lol i liked this, "Well then, I must re-read this again!" lol
| Posted on 2006-12-29 00:00:00 | by darkwiccan14 | [ Reply to This ]

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