is it that your skull is too thick?
that when a boulder hits it,
no crack is too be found?
did you not hear those words?
so clearly echoing in your mind.
word by word,
spoken so gently was it spoken.
and still you cannot see past,
your own ignorance.
for years you've been told,
and yet its still meaningless to you?
| this is a very powerful write!||| Posted on 2009-08-21 00:00:00 | by Sodais | [ Reply to This ] || yea i know how it is man, don't u just want to scream it to ppl,but they would say the same to u. it should never be doubted.||| Posted on 2009-05-28 00:00:00 | by geekyslacker | [ Reply to This ] || damn that was good.|
shoot azu u gots fuel!
|| Posted on 2006-12-29 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ] || I like this but your grammer needs help.|
First off- Capitilization? Some people don't use it, which is fine, but I just thought I'd point it out.
Second- 5th line should have question mark at the end. Are you purposely not using periods?
Third- 7th line doesn't make sense to me. It's too repetative. Maybe, "So gently they were spoken." 'They' being the words.
Fourth- In the 8th line 'pass' should be past.
Last- You should pay attention to your contractions. For example, in the 10th line you said youve when you should have said you've.
I really like this poem and you don't have to take my advice. I just thought I'd point some things out.
|| Posted on 2006-12-29 00:00:00 | by numbertwenty | [ Reply to This ] |