[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Happy Junctiondots

    Author: Mieko
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 253/209/99
    Words: 568
    Class/Type: Story/Comedy
    Total Views: 873
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3102

    But I'm not sure where it will go.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHappy Junctiondots

    Charlie sipped his apple cider from his thermos... He stood at the bus stop in a big poof of a blue coat, wearing a long, navy blue scarf. His mocha colored hair flipped up strangely. He had rushed out of the house that morning without bothering to dry it after he washed it. His mother didn’t see why he bothered drying his hair at all half the time, anyway. “What kind of 16 year old boy does?”

    He spat out his gum and waited. And waited… and waited some more, and then when he didn’t possibly think he could wait anymore, he got to thinking. Where was that retarded bus? Why hadn’t it come to the curb yet? And more importantly, why was he the only one waiting for this mystical school bus? He peeked down at his wrist watch. “7:30.” He read. “Same fucking time I read when I woke up. Great. Just great.” He kicked a wayward rock across the street, watching it bounce off a fire hydrant and go careening into a yard where a neighborhood dog sat. He looked at Charlie, and Charlie looked at him. He knew what the dog was thinking, and he didn’t like it. He turned quickly and started walking. And just as he suspected, he heard barking.

    “Oh shit.” It seemed as if the dog just saw him as a ‘stranger’ and wanted to follow him. He turned around and looked at the dog, which bounded up and stopped when he realized that Charlie had. He looked up and cocked his head. Whining piteously.

    “Great… don’t you belong somewhere?” He grumbled, feeling like a complete loser who was talking to a dog, for heaven’s sake…the dog whined. Its hair was dark, curly, matted. It looked like it had been out digging in the mud or something. Charlie hissed curse words as he ambled along the sidewalk on the way back to his house. “Bus” and “dammit all” were audible. The dog wagged his tail as if to say, ‘you’re kind of funny, I like you.’

    Which Charlie didn’t notice because he was way too busy moping. The coldness of his apple cider irritated him, his broken watch just pissed him off, and all in all, the kid wasn’t too happy to be late for the bus. It just meant he had to ride his bike. The dog behind him barked, as Charlie entered his driveway and opened the garage door using a remote attached to the outside, and grabbed his red mountain bike.

    Just as he was about got on his bike, he looked up to see the bus passing his house. A rush of all things unholy filled his lungs and just as he was about to explode profanity, the dog leaped up on his chest and licked him right square in the mouth.

    “Aarrrgh!” Was all that came out, and the dog resumed his sitting position. Charlie whipped his mouth furiously, and stood their, looking at the innocence that was ‘dog.’

    And all he could do was burst out laughing.

    “Frooooooog!” Came a call. A little girl Charlie had seen playing in the streets before came running. She was wearing a purple coat and what appeared to be a dress underneath. She had blonde curls, she looked about 8 years old. “There you are!”

    Submitted on 2006-12-30 02:38:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Well, I was amused. I love how the dog has a personality. And how Charlie does his hair. And the poof of a coat. This line struck me as highly amusing:

    "He knew what the dog was thinking, and he didn’t like it."

    I like this...I hope you write more.
    | Posted on 2007-01-17 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    The World written by jjd
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]