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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Deceptive at bestdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Localfreak
    ASL Info:    37, Maybe, Here
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 131/123/76
    Words: 192
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1144
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1285



    Description:
       Another collaboration, this time with our own BestxDeceptions.
    I hope you have as much enjoyment reading it as I did co-writing it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeceptive at bestdots
    -------------------------------------------



    Tantalizing essence,
    of bitterness set free
    and lingering sensations
    of needing to be.

    Lost upon insipid tastes
    Existing, but unknown
    Defiled from what was wanted
    curs'd and alone
    Reminisce of the forgotten
    temptation of a sin
    all out, for the glory,
    or the punished within.

    Disgraced and subjegated
    Locked tight by pleasures key
    The highest peak drops lowest
    And gods drop to their knees

    The mountains they do swindle,
    as winds quickly deplete
    and your song, it is the beauty
    That the angels rightly sing.
    Though lowly, soft and deathly
    With dwindling decay
    The bellowing of sanctity
    Raped of its name

    Impressionable times,
    and regretful dreams
    Visions undiscovered
    will now be redeemed

    Will be held up aloft
    Above the purity of pain
    To settle inside once more
    To fill life's starkest page
    Repression is a sin inside,
    Melancholy lies
    Replenishing the life you knew
    Though you were,
    never,
    really,
    Alive!






    Submitted on 2006-12-30 19:34:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Who is that awesome girl that you wrote with.

    She sounds niffty. Umm humm.


    heh.

    <3BestxDeceptions
    | Posted on 2006-12-30 00:00:00 | by BestxDeceptions | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    130459

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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