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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What About Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kapri49
    ASL Info:    16/f/canada
    Elite Ratio:    2.55 - 31/69/30
    Words: 272
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 706
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1567



    Description:
       I really wanna make this into the "perfect" song so please please comment


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat About Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    (V1)
    If I told you I loved you
    Would you say you love me too?
    If I told you I need you
    Would you need me too?
    If I took you in my arms
    Would you hold me tight
    If my world came crashing down
    Would you try to make it right?
    If tears fell from my eyes
    Would you make them dry?
    If I were to walk away
    Baby would you cry?

    (chorus)
    I care about you
    I can see myself with you
    My whole life through
    I care about you
    I can see myself with you
    My whole life through
    But Baby what about you?

    (V2)
    If you told me you loved me
    I would say I love you too
    If you told me you need me
    I would tell you I need you too
    If you took me in your arms
    I would hold you tight
    If your world came crashing down
    I would try to make it right
    If tears fell from your eyes
    I would make them dry
    And everytime you walk away
    Baby I'd do nothing but cry

    (brigde)
    And Ohh Baby I don't know
    And I can't see
    What I mean to you
    And Ohh Baby I Know
    And I can see
    What you mean to me

    (chorus)
    I care about you
    I can see myself with you
    My whole life through
    I care about you
    I can see myself with you
    My whole life through
    But Baby what about you?

    If I told you I loved you
    Would you walk away?




    Submitted on 2006-12-30 20:48:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      awww this is really sweet:) i like it very much. i'd try to put more examples of things in it, like why you love the person so much, and the way you care about him. but i like it, its really good.

    Kimmy
    | Posted on 2007-01-31 00:00:00 | by Kimmy | [ Reply to This ]
      This is pretty good. I like it. Well done! This is a great lyrical piece of writing... The only suggestion I have is changing the chorus slightly. I feel that it is ryhming "you" with itself too many times and gives it a slight repetitive feel. Although, I suppose that is only a matter of opinion.

    But yea,
    overall, great song!
    I like it.

    Keep up the excellent writing!

    peace.
    -Kamerin
    | Posted on 2007-01-13 00:00:00 | by Kamerin Brown | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I'm no song writer, but I do believe that this is an excellent lyric and could be easly set to music and sung ... bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... Michael
    | Posted on 2006-12-31 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]


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    130461

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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