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    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: Amanda Lynn
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 332/193/56
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 936
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 517


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    Here I am alone again
    Waiting for my life
    Waiting for a change from within
    To get me steadily through this strife
    I f eel the world passing by me
    Leaving me alone to either fail or fly
    I feel my wings withering
    A silent fall from clouds up high
    I know the angles laugh at me
    My clumsy attempt at immortality
    Failing as the world spins by
    I reach out a hand
    I scream out a cry
    What a bloody end
    For one such as I

    Submitted on 2006-12-31 21:12:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      wow. i really enjoyed this poem. simply put: great imagery and great concept. i love this piece.

    "I feel my wings withering
    A silent fall from clouds up high
    I know the angles laugh at me
    My clumsy attempt at immortality"

    great work.

    J. Ackson Jr.
    | Posted on 2007-01-22 00:00:00 | by JAcksonJr | [ Reply to This ]
      This has partentail ( I know that is way off) but not the point. Here in this peice seems like u held back some of your emtions and didn't let it come out. the flow was alright the spelling error's Like in Ln5 U put a space between the f and the eel for feel and other small things . other than that it was okay. well hope to hear from u

    max aka lil'Mix
    | Posted on 2006-12-31 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]

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