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    dots Submission Name: An Endingdots

    Author: Amanda Lynn
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 332/193/56
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 789
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1007


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAn Endingdots

    I ask you not to forget me,
    I pray you good speed,
    as you jump into your car,
    as you leap farther away from me.
    I know an ending when I see one.
    I know the past and how to be one.
    We came a long way,
    you taught me so much,
    and showed me how to dream.
    You wrapped yourself around me
    protecting me from everything.
    I don’t know where to go from here,
    I don’t know how to move on,
    my life has been you for so long.
    Now that it’s mine again it feels awkward…
    like a shirt that just doesn’t fit.
    Warped out of perfection
    by tugs and pulls…
    a bit torn from rejection,
    harsh words said by fools.
    Alone I sit
    on a couch designed for two.
    Alone I love
    with a heart designed for you.
    I can still feel your kiss,
    I can still hear goodbye,
    an ending to all this…
    and you’re gone
    before I can even remember to cry.

    Submitted on 2007-01-02 11:39:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i liked the line "i know an ending when i see one"
    it was decent...overall. it couldve been more creative especially toward the end.
    | Posted on 2007-04-15 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      I noticed you featured this poem so I thought I'd catch a glimpse. I'd say it's an inner dialogue, meaning it's about a central character (a woman or a girl) who is speaking in her thoughts with someone who abandoned her (a lover). It's as though she only states out the facts for us and is suppressing her emotions revolving around his departure until the very end when the tears finally begin to pour. Again, I think, there is a narrative sound to it. I personally wouldn't know how to label this poem. As for the impressionistic elements, it's all there. The poem can be pictured perfectly because your diction here is quite simple even though it's ridden with emotions. These kinds of poems are mostly easiest to imagine. There is some profoundness in it that I think would have been lost had the poem been written in a different style. My assessment is that this is quite a thoughtful and excellent poem.
    | Posted on 2007-01-16 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      You have penned the feelings most of us have felt, or will feel, at some time. I can surely appreciate this poem. Take care, Sharon
    | Posted on 2007-01-12 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]
      The equilibrium to any relationship is sometimes not realised as unbalanced until that relationship ends. It's at that moment of discovering it is in the process of ending that it the imbalance makes itself known.

    Rather melancholy poetic expression but given the circumstance and situation very appropriate. It's very apparent he/she was a major part of your life and the days therein.

    Poetically I really like it. It's fluid with a progressiveness and continuity of the content the begins well and ends very sadly but maturely.
    | Posted on 2007-01-08 00:00:00 | by danativ | [ Reply to This ]
      How cute, but sad though. Everything does come to an ending eventually right. I really like the ryhme scheme here and what i got from the poem was that you had a relationship with someone for quite a while when all of a sudden it ended, you don't say how but you use a shirt as a metaphor or a symbolic image of how you felt about the break up towards the middle as you describe the shirt feeling uncomfortable and worn. My fav. lines were, "Alone I sit
    on a couch designed for two.
    Alone I love
    with a heart designed for you."
    | Posted on 2007-01-02 00:00:00 | by SavedDragon | [ Reply to This ]
      The classic lover's lament for love's labor lost! Well and ably done here, for sure ... poignant ... bravo ... bravo ... Michael
    | Posted on 2007-01-02 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]

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