[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I am the Blackbirddots

    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 986
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 941


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI am the Blackbirddots

    Sitting on the picket fence
    Is one black crow.
    Symbolic window frame
    As it begins to snow.
    Iím here to replace and take,
    Treading warmth
    Clutching to your mistakes.
    Iím a messenger of the sky,
    Iíll remove the fear from your eyes.
    When you finally find sleep,
    You only silently weep.
    It isnít as bad as it seems.
    Let me help you
    Find precious dreams.
    Then Iíll leave and take to the air,
    And take the smell of your hair.
    In your eyes I will glow light,
    Always remain
    A distant satellite.
    When you're impaired
    And in distress,
    Your heart I will caress.
    You notice the house is a little chilly,
    In a vase on the table
    I left one white Lily.
    To remind you that
    No matter where you may be.
    I will perch in your soul
    For eternity.

    Submitted on 2004-01-30 15:08:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I liked it a lot. The blackbird metaphor is a nice touch. "I will perch in your soul for eternity" really ended the poem well. You're rhyming flows very well and is never dull or forced. Good work.
    | Posted on 2005-02-15 00:00:00 | by omnipotent | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, (maybe) MzJae is correct, but your poem is your poem. I liked it, but I have a question are you USMC? You left a always faithful on someone's page for a comment. I am just being curious.
    | Posted on 2005-02-14 00:00:00 | by Silver20G | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...i can definitely see why this is ur featured poem! i wish i could write stuff like that.
    | Posted on 2004-02-11 00:00:00 | by deadlydarkdevil | [ Reply to This ]
      In the second line, 'it begins' was written twice and in 'When your impaired and in distress,' 'your' should be 'you're,' 'maybe' should be 'may be'...but otherwise... good
    | Posted on 2004-01-30 00:00:00 | by MzJae | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]