Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I am the Blackbirddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 989
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 941



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI am the Blackbirddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sitting on the picket fence
    Is one black crow.
    Symbolic window frame
    As it begins to snow.
    Iím here to replace and take,
    Treading warmth
    Clutching to your mistakes.
    Iím a messenger of the sky,
    Iíll remove the fear from your eyes.
    When you finally find sleep,
    You only silently weep.
    It isnít as bad as it seems.
    Let me help you
    Find precious dreams.
    Then Iíll leave and take to the air,
    And take the smell of your hair.
    In your eyes I will glow light,
    Always remain
    A distant satellite.
    When you're impaired
    And in distress,
    Your heart I will caress.
    You notice the house is a little chilly,
    In a vase on the table
    I left one white Lily.
    To remind you that
    No matter where you may be.
    I will perch in your soul
    For eternity.




    Submitted on 2004-01-30 15:08:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked it a lot. The blackbird metaphor is a nice touch. "I will perch in your soul for eternity" really ended the poem well. You're rhyming flows very well and is never dull or forced. Good work.
    | Posted on 2005-02-15 00:00:00 | by omnipotent | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, (maybe) MzJae is correct, but your poem is your poem. I liked it, but I have a question are you USMC? You left a always faithful on someone's page for a comment. I am just being curious.
    | Posted on 2005-02-14 00:00:00 | by Silver20G | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...i can definitely see why this is ur featured poem! i wish i could write stuff like that.
    | Posted on 2004-02-11 00:00:00 | by deadlydarkdevil | [ Reply to This ]
      In the second line, 'it begins' was written twice and in 'When your impaired and in distress,' 'your' should be 'you're,' 'maybe' should be 'may be'...but otherwise... good
    | Posted on 2004-01-30 00:00:00 | by MzJae | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    1307

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Every..... written by jackz
    prison written by ShyOne
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry