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    dots Submission Name: I am the Blackbirddots

    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 991
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 941


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI am the Blackbirddots

    Sitting on the picket fence
    Is one black crow.
    Symbolic window frame
    As it begins to snow.
    Iím here to replace and take,
    Treading warmth
    Clutching to your mistakes.
    Iím a messenger of the sky,
    Iíll remove the fear from your eyes.
    When you finally find sleep,
    You only silently weep.
    It isnít as bad as it seems.
    Let me help you
    Find precious dreams.
    Then Iíll leave and take to the air,
    And take the smell of your hair.
    In your eyes I will glow light,
    Always remain
    A distant satellite.
    When you're impaired
    And in distress,
    Your heart I will caress.
    You notice the house is a little chilly,
    In a vase on the table
    I left one white Lily.
    To remind you that
    No matter where you may be.
    I will perch in your soul
    For eternity.

    Submitted on 2004-01-30 15:08:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I liked it a lot. The blackbird metaphor is a nice touch. "I will perch in your soul for eternity" really ended the poem well. You're rhyming flows very well and is never dull or forced. Good work.
    | Posted on 2005-02-15 00:00:00 | by omnipotent | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, (maybe) MzJae is correct, but your poem is your poem. I liked it, but I have a question are you USMC? You left a always faithful on someone's page for a comment. I am just being curious.
    | Posted on 2005-02-14 00:00:00 | by Silver20G | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...i can definitely see why this is ur featured poem! i wish i could write stuff like that.
    | Posted on 2004-02-11 00:00:00 | by deadlydarkdevil | [ Reply to This ]
      In the second line, 'it begins' was written twice and in 'When your impaired and in distress,' 'your' should be 'you're,' 'maybe' should be 'may be'...but otherwise... good
    | Posted on 2004-01-30 00:00:00 | by MzJae | [ Reply to This ]

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