Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Addictiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Lil gal
    ASL Info:    32/F-ya/here
    Elite Ratio:    3.19 - 355/216/36
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 785
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 839



    Description:
       I quit smoking and it's all I can think about.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAddictiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    I want you more than anything,
    I need you in my life.

    Feel you deep inside me,
    relieving my pain and strife.

    I have to have you.....so desperately.

    Fill my body with your poison,
    a slave to it is what I'm meant to be...

    You're a perfect drug....
    when coarsing through my veins.

    ENOUGH!!

    No more will you possess me,
    I have the antidote to ur poison.

    Power over me,
    no longer.

    I've found something,
    which I'm so much fonder.

    Breathing....
    Living....

    Committing suicide slowly,
    I don't think so...

    Good bye, Nicotine
    You were nothing but a very bad dream.






    Submitted on 2007-01-02 18:41:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      liked this piece solely on the the merit that it sounded like an adiction to something else"H" and at the very end of the poem you are surprised its "nicotine"the journey of affliction............................................................................................................................ocean sand
    | Posted on 2007-06-07 00:00:00 | by temporal nights | [ Reply to This ]
      I really needed to see this today - I'm trying to cut back.....again......tis so funny when we can be so strong in someways but in some vices we just allow ourselves to be overcome. THing is I like smoking! I just thank the Lord for taking my craving and know that "IT's" done

    Excellent piece that could be on one of those anti-smoking campaigns =0

    love,peace,joy&smiles to share
    tif
    | Posted on 2007-03-22 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      oooo i love smoking. nice how you wrote to get it off your brain. very nice.
    are you still quit??
    hope so
    good luck
    | Posted on 2007-03-20 00:00:00 | by HappyBuddaH | [ Reply to This ]
      That is a very great write you could use it for other addictions as well like for my case, I smoke now but I used to be addicted to coke but after 1 year in rehab I can finally say I'll never touch it again. Anyways let me stop before I start telling you my whole life story lol. Very Good write and great emotion,
    -Jenny
    | Posted on 2007-01-29 00:00:00 | by Darklonelygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      good write, my grandmother should read this. its great that you quit, more people should have your willpower. =] im happy for you.
    just thought i would let you know, the way that the word 'coarsing' is being used, it should be 'coursing'. just a suggestion. by the way, thanks for the comment on Pill. ^_^
    - Michi
    | Posted on 2007-01-16 00:00:00 | by _Phoenix | [ Reply to This ]
      have you seen that new commercial where the brain receptors are tweaking out with madness without nicotine? thats what your poem reminded me of. It is hard as [censored]. I STILL crave them. winning the battle, good job lil warrior.
    | Posted on 2007-01-16 00:00:00 | by laniejane | [ Reply to This ]
      It's really good. I like how you start with your passion and then suddenly fight it and quit. brilliant!
    | Posted on 2007-01-03 00:00:00 | by VampireMaiden | [ Reply to This ]
      excellent write~congrats on quitting~keep it up!! :)
    | Posted on 2007-01-03 00:00:00 | by DesecratedDream | [ Reply to This ]
      good for you! i hope it goes well. im a smoker, and i know how hard it is to quit. its willpower you need, and lots of it.
    i wish you luck!
    michelle

    ps. read my poem, 'black cloud'. you might find it interesting.
    | Posted on 2007-01-02 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    130700

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love written by saartha
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Records I written by Raphael
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry