Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Drunken Words... Sober Thoughtsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: precious_poetry
    ASL Info:    19 F TN
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 137/145/67
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 656
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 916



    Description:
       I've been in a slump... Drinking away the past week. I'm over it now, but my reason for losing control is because of myself... Let me know what you think


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDrunken Words... Sober Thoughtsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Swaying back and forth,
    From one wall to another,
    Trying to find the bed,
    To crawl up in the cover.

    One drink, two drinks, three,
    The pain slowly faded.
    I saw the bottom of the bottle,
    Opened another as depression invaded.

    I lost my will to move on,
    Thought I'd drink away my sorrow,
    Just to wake to the aching,
    Just to feel the same way tomorrow.

    I ruined what could have been,
    I thought I'd made the right decision.
    I was wrong, now my heart is broken,
    Lacerated, bleeding, all self inflicted.

    Playing, making believe,
    Everyday I wear this mask.
    I drink it up to forget,
    I despise an empty flask.

    My eyelids are heavy,
    Thoughts misconstrued.
    I'll sleep in torment now,
    Lying alone, dreaming of you.




    Submitted on 2007-01-03 16:30:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The imagery was great.
    The emotions are so real that it hurts!
    I can relate to this poem entirely.
    It's ironic how someone thinks that
    a substance can take the pain away
    when in the end, you feel it anyway.
    Reminds me of that song, "Whiskey Lullaby"

    Great piece, keep it up :)

    Ciao,

    }i{Renae}i{
    | Posted on 2007-03-31 00:00:00 | by Poetic_tragedy6 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! You always seem so open and real.. when i read your words it sounds like something I could be thinking... The past is always looming with what could have been and the future is always there with what we do not have....I hope your tommorow is better.
    | Posted on 2007-01-03 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked it, nice poem, the rhyming is really good, i noticed one mistake but i,ll put that down to side affects from boozing. it looks like your new year got off to a bad start, but you have put a lot of feeling into this poem, drowning your sorrows,wearing a mask, as you have realised drinking isn,t the answer. put your feelings to paper, maybe that will help. good luck
    gerry
    | Posted on 2007-01-03 00:00:00 | by bogeyman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    130800

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    To written by SavedDragon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Giving written by jjd
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Push written by JanePlane
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry