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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sweet_rayne
    ASL Info:    25/f/canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.86 - 493/464/111
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1059
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 632



    Description:
       just something i felt a need to write not really about anything in particular, just an idea


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYoudots
    -------------------------------------------


    By showing me there is
    No shame in shedding tears

    You taught me to live again
    By helping me over come my fears

    You showed me how to laugh once more
    By helping to break down my many doors

    I can see beauty in all that surrounds me
    Because you turned me inside out

    Because of you I learned to feel
    Even when I knew it would not last

    But because of you my life is real
    And you will always be a happy memory in my past

    A memory to get me through each day
    Because I knew you could never stay




    Submitted on 2007-01-03 22:23:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hmmm. At first the rhymeing turned me off but as a read further I sort of fell into it. The simplicity of love wether is has ended or not teaches each of us a lesson. For some that lesson is good for the rest of us that is lesson is not to trust anyone. Good poem overall.


    May you continue to learn great things from love,


    Sage
    | Posted on 2007-01-16 00:00:00 | by sageeriol | [ Reply to This ]
      At first I felt this piece to be about a lover. As I continued to read, however, I felt it might be about a best friend. Then as I neared the end I felt it was about a loved one who passed on. Any of these ideas would work in interpreting this piece and that is why I love poetry so!
    "No shame in shedding tears" That phrase is a life-saver for me as someone really close to me told me something similar to that when I was going through a rough time. I think that this flowed nicely, yet I was wondering if you broke away from the capitalization of every line and spaced it differently would it flow and read more effectively? Just a thought. I like it as it is already, but as writers we must help each other to grow!
    Good job.

    Mary Yesterday
    | Posted on 2007-01-04 00:00:00 | by Mary Yesterday | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written well. I liked the topic and poem. The only thing I saw was that the rhyming was a bit off, or maybe I just read it wrong. This was done very nicely, keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading.

    Saint Razor
    | Posted on 2007-01-03 00:00:00 | by brknprlcndol | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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