Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sequeldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 708
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 662



    Description:
       Here's another sappy love poem. I'm not fully satisfied with this, but I suppose I'll get suggestions.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSequeldots
    -------------------------------------------


    We met in a crowded park
    at the height of autumn and just started talking
    like we'd known each other in another life
    like they do in the movies, And we were together, always together, but life isn't Hollywood.
    Our hair was sometimes mussed:
    our clothes a bit dated,
    and although our sad parting
    wasn't exactly Casablanca
    it is worthy of Cinemascope,
    For audiences love a tragic end,
    and though the credits have rolled
    I'll always have my flashbacks,
    and since we both survived
    we may meet again.
    Perhaps there will be a sequel.





    Submitted on 2004-06-03 03:55:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This flows so sweetly and sincerely, like a live conversation almost. The movie lingo works beautifully in a touching synopsis of a relationship now grown cold---and the sequel idea is beautiful, suggesting either a hoped-for reconciliation--or perhaps a soul-mate in another life time. Silver
    | Posted on 2004-06-07 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      this is so gorgeous! i love how you have compared love to an old school movie love kinda... its brilliant! but i love how it wasnt all perfect and lovely... clothes slightly dated... that kinda thing and i love the idea of a sequel (so long as it dont make it all trashy and lame like so many of todays sequels do...)
    | Posted on 2004-06-05 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this i thoguht it was great how you portrayed this love as sort of an old style movie, a true romance, i thought it was rather beautiful... and i must say casablanca is a a wonderful truly classic movie lol. great write i really enjoyed it
    | Posted on 2004-06-04 00:00:00 | by gigglygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      so much for sap... i love sap, 'specially if it is written well, which your stuff 99% of the time is. i've had relationships like this, where it seems so just like the movies, tragic ending and all. however, we all know most sequels fall flat on the screen. perhaps they wouldn't in real life, though! this was a nice way to start my morning, dumplin!
    | Posted on 2004-06-03 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Darn, this was really good. Why don't you ever like your longer pieces? Huh? C'mon, I really dug this. Maybe because I was waiting for a sequel once. Wasn't to be though, moped about it for years. I'm not exagerating...and that's the closest you'll get me to sentimental or romantic nowadays. Just try sending Joel Whatsisname whatever's in my favourites...especially that one I said was just about perfect. Didn't that have something to do with the movies as well? I'll check as soon as I'm Through with this. Later.
    | Posted on 2004-06-03 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      theres nothing wrong with this its awsome...i love it. im not just saying this to give you a big head..lol..smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-06-03 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think it's sappy. it's the opposite, quite sober if you ask me. almost matter-of-fact. but that fits cause you decribe the reality and not a movie. I like the last line. every succesful hollywood movie has a sequel (besides Titanic, would have been a bit complicated the ship sank and Leonardo is dead... ). so that's very hopeful. it's a good poem. I enjoyed it.
    | Posted on 2004-06-03 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    13097

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    no sky on the other side written by teika5

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry