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    dots Submission Name: Murderdots

    Author: The Conqueror
    ASL Info:    21/female/Missouri
    Elite Ratio:    3.48 - 178/204/42
    Words: 124
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 972
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 697


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Raining teardrops in my head
    a swift and inevitable fate
    of drowning in the waters stead
    of life that's come and gone too late

    The night moves on without a fear
    broken only by a coyotes howl
    and no one saw the curs'ed act
    what witness is a lonely owl?

    A driven worry, so paranoid
    a t-shirt slick with sticky sweat
    but worse is hers, a garment heavy
    with scarlett- soft and warm and wet

    A death has come, or has it gone?
    taken with the gleaming knife.
    Almost a sickening poker game
    exchanging death and life

    Submitted on 2007-01-04 16:19:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This drammatic poem flows well, and tells a haunting story! Excellent rhythm and rhyme scheme as well! Good work!
    | Posted on 2008-03-17 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Flows very well indeed. You managed to create quite a potent image in my mind with this one. In my book, that is always a sign of an excellent write.

    | Posted on 2008-01-18 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]

    I like the sticky sweet warm and wet parts...
    | Posted on 2007-01-04 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]
      This was great. I could clearly picture what was going on with in the mental picture. The words went nicely. As for anything to fix, umm I guess that ‘sticky sweat’ sticky could be changed to another word. Lovely writing

    | Posted on 2007-01-04 00:00:00 | by the_truth | [ Reply to This ]

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