[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Crusheddots

    Author: Midnight_Rose
    ASL Info:    18//Male//Chicago, IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 121/149/40
    Words: 237
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 657
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1650

       You tell me... (this should be interesting)

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    The world's moving too fast
    And I can't keep up.

    It's like I want to lay down,
    Close my eyes,
    Take a deep breath
    And give up.

    Society has me in a rage
    To the point where I'm locked
    In an emotional cage
    And hide behind the four walls
    Of my serenity.

    Every feeling in me
    Is confused and scared
    And I dare not imagine
    Where I'll be tomorrow
    Or the day after.

    The future's grim.
    It's covered in a shadow
    That I can't relate to.

    So my mother tells me
    To enjoy life while I still can
    And my father tells me
    To step up and be a man.

    It's not fair
    But that's life
    Although the world should,
    For once,
    Show some compassion for its actions,
    For misleading the young
    That beauty last forever

    Life has me tossed around,
    Broke down,
    Stuck in a psychological fatality
    Making dreams, not just dreams,
    But, an escape from reality,
    From the screams, the killing,
    The stealing, the fulfilling
    Of the "American Dream."

    I look at myself in the mirror
    And laugh a little
    And smile a bit.

    I wipe the tears from my eyes.
    Why do I need to cry?
    Because I had some hard times
    In my life?

    It's like what they say,
    What doesn't kill you
    Makes you stronger.

    I'm still standing.

    Submitted on 2007-01-05 14:27:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this is kinda weird for me to say but this made me cry, tell you truth i'm not sure why maybe i can relate to it...i think i can except for the still standing part, i don't feel like i'm standing on my own 2 feet anymore like i've been knoked down by what everyone wants and iam struggling to make up my own mind. nobodies really living the dream, as you said why should i cry because i've had some hard times in my life? anyway i liked it alot it brought up alot of emotions for me not sure if they were ones that should of been brought up because of this but it did anyway so thank you! great write, i truly liked it. -jess-
    | Posted on 2007-01-05 00:00:00 | by gothicgirl | [ Reply to This ]
      A very powerful piece with a plenthora of emotions from what life is throwing your way. I liked the way this is straight forward with what you are thinking i always try to hide behind my words. Glad to hear that so far you are still standing.
    | Posted on 2007-01-05 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]
      This is neat, I like the end where you stand up and say that your still staning. Man, I know life can really knock you down sometimes, i've been pretty low, not as low as some people I know though. Thats a great conclusion though, I'm bad at ending my poems, they just seem to keep going and I always have more to say oh well... Anyways, this is really neat to read and I wish you luck for any future writings you make!
    | Posted on 2007-01-05 00:00:00 | by Sasafraz | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. This definitly was interesting. It was like a whirlwind of emotions; like a hurricane almost, then the last stanza, and last line, are like when the storm clears, and the sky's all yellow. It's really cool:)

    This was my favorite stanza

    "Life has me tossed around,
    Broke down,
    Stuck in a psychological fatality
    Making dreams, not just dreams,
    But, an escape from reality,
    From the screams, the killing,
    The stealing, the fulfilling
    Of the "American Dream.""

    It's just so angry and, idk, in your face i guess.

    Great job, don't know if i was anywhere close to the meaning, but it was cool:)

    | Posted on 2007-01-05 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]