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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Metal man?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Localfreak
    ASL Info:    37, Maybe, Here
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 131/123/76
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 835
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 897



    Description:
       Thank you my baby for all the inspiration and ideas.
    Another one from the lips of my love to the print on the screen.
    I'm not sure what kind of Metal-man she had in mind but this is what I came up with


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMetal man?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Stood alone
    Solitary, with an age of rust beaten
    Into a brow of iron

    Thoughts being unknown
    To a being with no soul
    Though he stands resolute

    A duty to perform
    To house natures young?
    For that seems to be all that occupies

    Though once, he did stand proud
    Dulcet gleam of life portrayed
    With a look of sincerity, in glassless eyes

    And thoughts were unknown
    To a being with no soul
    Though still he stands resolute

    If a memory was earned
    Inside a skull cast in fire
    Would he tell us of life in his day?

    Of the summers of past lives
    Of teachings of men
    Or the suns rise and fall off the shore

    But thoughts are unknown
    To a being with no soul
    Though still, he stands resolute




    Submitted on 2007-01-06 09:43:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It's not often I get to say this, LocalFreak, but I can find nothing negative to critique about this piece other than a minor spelling mistake. You missed out the 'e' in resolute. But that is most probably just a typing error.

    A wonderful use of language along with a brilliant theme. I hope all your work is this well done.
    | Posted on 2007-01-06 00:00:00 | by Darke_Valentine | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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