Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Peaceful threat of happinessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LadyMerlina
    ASL Info:    24/ F/ Montreal
    Elite Ratio:    3.07 - 60/93/58
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1162
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 590



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPeaceful threat of happinessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Silence.
    At the end of a thread.
    Fallen fingers, stopped hands
    Like a yearning unfulfilled.
    Like a hunger unfed.

    I think of you

    And time fades on,
    fades fast
    and fades away.

    Still,
    THIS PEACEFUL THREAT OF HAPPINESS
    HANGS ABOVE ME AND WILL NOT BE SWAYED.

    I think of you

    I know I always want most
    what I can't have.
    BUT I REFUSE TO THORW AWAY HAPPINESS WITH BOTH HANDS.

    I think of you.

    So, I love another man.




    Submitted on 2007-01-06 15:54:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      What??????

    Such a dedication and then a betrayal of what you would silently declare you love for? Sheez, I'm broken!

    It hurts you in some small part to love a love that knows not of your love or loves you not. But it hurts even more to know that you betrayed such a purity held for "a love" by loving another.

    "The demons of one life pass to another if not confronted and conquered" - Is love a demon[?]

    Not too sure if the capitalised lines make for any more impetus of impact. I think not having reformatted them in my mind. I think if you could tighten it up the solidity of the piece would be better for it.

    A nice expressive piece.
    | Posted on 2007-01-13 00:00:00 | by danativ | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    131232

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry