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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Sun and Moondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: VampireMaiden
    ASL Info:    16, Female, USA
    Elite Ratio:    2.43 - 23/31/29
    Words: 42
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Cutting or Mutilation
    Total Views: 709
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 262



    Description:
       It's a random thought. (I didn't think tey'd have that under catagories)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Sun and Moondots
    -------------------------------------------


    What does the sun look like?

    Like he's slit his wrists in the bathtub and the blood is spreading throughout the water.

    And the moon is just sitting there. Watching. Watching him die.

    She probobly drove him to it.




    Submitted on 2007-01-06 23:53:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked this. I liked the way you put together the sun and moon with cutting. It makes so much sense.

    I guess that it is a random thought, but it was really good. I would usually tell someone to add more to it, but I think you have everything you need on here.

    Nice Write
    ~*~katara~*~
    | Posted on 2008-04-24 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]
      I think, you concentrate on this subject too much maybe. I understand the attraction to the darkness of taking a life, blood spilling every where. But...striving to make it into something else is what makes a good writer. I really enjoyed the first of the poems I read. But they get so...over played. And this is so hard to understand "She probably drove him to it" Who's she? How did she drive him? The usual questions. Who, what, where, how, when, why...Et cetera, et cetera. Instead of always concentrating on the darkness perhaps bring some light into the situation. Not every single day can be the worse day of your life, nor the day you take that life.
    | Posted on 2007-01-12 00:00:00 | by Karios | [ Reply to This ]
      ok i have no idea what this is about but like the lines just not put together. especially the 3rd.
    | Posted on 2007-01-08 00:00:00 | by rocker5871 | [ Reply to This ]


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