Sign up to EliteSkills

As Gus was washing his Volkswagen, he looked up and saw the sun setting on the horizon. Gus wiped away a tear; he loved sunsets.

Suddenly a figure began to emerge from the glaze and soon enough he realised it was none other than the fabulous Basil! Gus did a quick hair check in his now shiny Volkswagen (he had to look his best for the fabulous Basil!) and leant up against it, trying to look casual but failing dismally as his excitement rose to dangerous levels.

Basil continued strolling daintily down the street, rainbows spilling on the pavement before him as the last rays of the setting sun refracted through his glasses. He spotted Gus and gave one of his signature lopsided smirks. Gus blushed and gave a little wave. Basil strolled in his direction, his smile still noticeable.

"Gus, baby. I thought you were dead."

Gus scratched the back of his neck. "Um, yeah, ah ha, well you see..."

Basil silenced him with a hand. "No, no need to explain. Everything is cool now. And I like your car. Please come to the ice cream shop with me. Do you like strawberry? No, don't say anything. I know you're a chocolate man. Is this your house? No, I know it is. Please come."

Gus nodded dumbly, and taking the hand of his old companion, he found himself walking down into the street bathed in orange light.
Basil strutted along, babbling on. Gus was relieved to find that Basil had, for the most part, remained the same and while having a conversation very seldom required input from the other person. He simply talked and expected to be listened to. This would annoy most people but not Gus, who found the continuous rhythm of the other mans voice relaxing. 'Ah, Basil!,' he thought gleefully, 'My Basil is back!'



Mordecai opened his eyes to see the clock on the wall read quarter to seven.

“Gimli’s beard,” he muttered, “Time for a check up.”

Mordecai leaped out of his interior hammock, and picking up his baton, he began his nightly patrol of the premises. He checked under the beds and under the chairs for any signs of bugs or spies. He then carefully made his way over to the window and peered out onto the front lawn. Gus’s Volkswagen was waiting in the driveway, but there was no Gus.

Mordecai felt the panic rising in his chest, but calmed himself by reciting the STR rule. Stop. Think. React. Stop. Think. React.

“Hullo there, Ma Mr. Morde! Watcha upta now dear?”

Mordecai looked down to see his neighbour, chubby Mrs. Babuski bringing in her shopping. She had a big voice and could yell between storeys. Morde had a small voice and could not, so he quickly ran down the three flights of stairs to explain the situation.

“Now, now there, Mr. Morde,” Mrs. Babuski cooed once Mordecai had poured out his qualms. “I don’t think the car will get rusty, iv its only bin out dare fer an hour.”

“But, but, but,” Mordecai bumbled, “Gus could have slipped on something!”

Mrs. Babuski chuckled, “Ah don’t think so, Morde. Here he comes now!”


Mr. Mordecai wandered to the window and saw a sight he dreaded, that gave him nightmares and haunted his every breath. Gus was with a stranger!

Mordecai hated strangers, and even at that moment his ears were turning pink and he was throwing open the windows.

"Oh now please Mr. Morde not again, it's just a stranger! A friend of Gus so practically not even a stranger, please calm down!"

But no, it was too late. Mordecai hated strangers and saw it as his God given right to protect all people from them. He leaned his red bloated face from the window. There were some times when Mr Mordecai could be louder than Mrs. Babuski and this was one of them.



“TAKE ONE MORE STEP AND THE WOMAN DIES!”

Mrs. Babuski shook her head. Poor Mordecai wasn’t very good at thinking of things on the spot.

Basil looked confused. Gus chuckled nervously.

“Um, that’s my er, flat mate, Morde. You’ll love him, he’s great.” Together they walked into the building.



“He’s bringing it, it up here!” Mordecai, fumbled for his baton and stood beside the door, ready to smash whoever entered. Basil’s continuous voice became louder, and before Mordecai could mutter stopthinkreact fifteen times, Basil and Gus entered through the back door.

“Hello Mordecai,” Gus said on entering. “What are you doing with that baton? You weren’t going to smash our lovely Mrs. Babuski, were you?”

Mrs. Babuski chuckled. “Nah, he was gonna smash yer friend there.”

“You know what?” Basil started again. “I sense a little tension in the air. No, don’t say anything. I know what will do the trick. A nice cup of tea. Gus…”

“Yes, right away!”

Gus offered Mordecai a drink, but he refused, taking instead a hanky to mop his red face.

“If you don’t mind Gus, I need some time in the calming down room.”

After Mordecai had made his exit, Gus began to speak but Basil stopped him.

“No, no need to explain. He was with you in the service, wasn’t he? Yes, I thought so. It really shows how a lifetime of fighting underground crime can work on a human mind… it’s a very…”

“Actually Morde has always been like that…”

Gus gulped. Had he really just interrupted the fabulous Basil? Oh how he wished he could turn back time!

“I said it’s a very interesting process. You’d know all about that wouldn’t you Gussy Baby? All those years must have been heavy on you. The fear, the responsibility… how could you handle the pressure of killing in the name of justice? What a great…”

“Actually I worked in the HQ kitchen…” Damn I did it again!

Basil sighed, “I hope this doesn’t become a habit, Gus. Where was I? Yes that’s right… the burdens of the secret service. Oh bother, I’ve lost my train of thought. So…Gus… how’s ya sex life? No, don’t tell me. I know how it is.”



Gus rolled over and fell off the couch. He rolled on his back trying to clear the mist of sleep from his mind. The clock above him on the table said 3:32am. Somewhat less than willingly he had surrendered his bed to Basil.
Ah, Basil! he thought. Sleeping on the couch, shutting up whenever he was told. It was like old times again!

With a slight bang the window opened and Mordecai climbed through, still holding his batton.

"Morde! Glad you're back. I was starting to wonder..."

"No you weren't!" Mordecai snapped, "Not with him upstairs. You didn't even turn the front light on!"

Gus yawned loudly. "It's three in the morning and I never turn the light on for you anymore. I'm past the point of worrying about your midnight strolls."

An expression of deep sadness came across Mordecai’s face. “Things aren’t what they used to be, eh?”

He crawled over to the couch and sat beside Gus’ feet. Gus sighed.

“Look, Morde… I know we had a great time in the secret service. But that’s all over now. We’re retirees now; living the simple life. I know this may seem very difficult for you, but I think its time you ah, what’s the word, mellowed out. Yeah… that’s it.”

Mordecai looked angry at first, but his expression softened and he placed a hand on Gus’s knee.

“Yeah, and that’s all over too,” Gus said hurriedly as he removed Mordecai’s hand.

Mordecai stood and cleared his throat.
“I may be a retiree Gus, but I still have the detective’s sense, and I sense something very suspicious going on here,” he motioned towards upstairs, and then marched off towards his interior hammock.

Gus couldn't help feeling that Morde's warning, even if it did come from his obviously emotionally troubled friend, made a great deal of sense. So many questions had gone unanswered. Why had Basil returned? and why right now?
Caught up in the joy that was Basil, Gus had ignored what he now realised was a warning tingle of his subconscious mind. Something was certainly not right! As the first rays of sun poked their way through the living room
window Gus gathered the last of his waning courage and decided it was necessary to try something he'd never thought to attempt before. He was going to talk to Basil...



Gus rapped gently on the door before entering.

“Basil…” he called so softly, only he could hear it.

“Ah, Gus baby… there you are,” Basil said cheerfully as he looked up to see the frightened Gus shaking in the doorway. He finished adjusting his glasses and then held out his arm for Gus to take.

“How about a stroll to the park, eh Gus baby?”

Before Gus knew it, he was clutching the offered arm and heading out the door. Oh why was Basil so hard to resist!

Gus managed to pluck out that hidden courage again once they had arrived at the park. Behind a newspaper and a pair of dark glasses, a suspicious (and very jealous) Mordecai watched from a distance.

“Basil, I have to ask you a few things.”
Basil chuckled. “Wonderful! I have to ask you something very important too.”

“Oh… yes, well I…”

Basil placed a finger on Gus’ lips, silencing him and sending him into a mild euphoria.

“You see, Gus, I’ve been building up a little franchise just out of town. It’s just getting started, and its all a bit quiet and lonely at the moment. I see so much promise in your eager young face and I was wondering whether, you, my dear old friend, and would like to come-,”

Basil paused, letting Gus tremble with the excitement for a few moments.

“Whether, you, dear Gus, would like to come work in my kitchen.”

Gus fell to his knees, speechless. Oh the honour!

A tear trickled down from under Mordecai’s dark glasses. With an offer like that he would never win Gus back. Folding his newspaper, he headed back to his interior hammock to sulk.



That afternoon Gus took the Volkswagen for a spin around town, still ecstatic over Basil’s proposition. All feelings of unease and suspicious had been totally clouded over by this new feeling of thrill.

It was dark when Gus finally arrived home. Morde’s baton and torch were still in their places, signifying that Mordecai was most probably still at home. It suddenly occurred to Gus that he hadn’t seen him all day.

Gus switched on the living room ceiling light and froze with horror at what he saw before him.

“MORDECAI!” he screamed instantly.

In a few flips, Morde came bouncing down the stairs to stand beside his companion. He saw the limp and bloodied corpse of Basil, then turned to murmur weakly:

“It wasn’t me.”