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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Cold Heart.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Parul garg
    ASL Info:    26/f/earth
    Elite Ratio:    6.15 - 241/100/30
    Words: 43
    Class/Type: Misc/Love
    Total Views: 1029
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 358



    Description:
       Anguish.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Cold Heart.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    My scathed heart is melting , sure....
    .......................................

    I stare at the crimson rose
    Bowed under the frozen dew
    And wonder
    What will be left of it
    When the white vesture wears off....
    ..........................................

    My cold heart is scalding , sure.....




    Submitted on 2007-01-08 10:44:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This disappoints me. The image of "crimson rose" in winter and "cold, scathed heart" are terribly overused and often associated with cheesy, droning pieces that aren't worth remembering.

    I truly believe you can do better than this.
    | Posted on 2007-03-08 00:00:00 | by Lilith Tolsky | [ Reply to This ]
      I love how you started off with how your heart is melting and ended it with it being cold. Like a downward spiral of melancholy......I love the darkness. Assuming there is no mystery that lies underneath and wondering if it is the same old story...afraid to experience the same pain. I like the word 'sure' used at the beginning and end....it could be just my own interpretation at this but it seems like it's this nonchalant attitude towards what you are facing because you just don't want to give it your time knowing what is to be expected.


    I really liked this one alot.

    cheers,
    -pete
    | Posted on 2007-01-16 00:00:00 | by pist0l_pete | [ Reply to This ]
      id probbly wonder too what wears off
    plus i really like the hole sure thing about it
    its like cool or something like sure
    over all good write keep up the creative poetry
    | Posted on 2007-01-12 00:00:00 | by ty | [ Reply to This ]
      fine, fine, fine! And, oh, sooo wonderfully poetic! short, yes, but just plain excellent! bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... michael
    | Posted on 2007-01-09 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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