Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Limited time onlydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Abby Sinthetic
    Elite Ratio:    2.75 - 177/230/53
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Angry
    Total Views: 1488
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 403



    Description:
       I'm just rambling. I know the sixth and eighth lines rhyme, that was purely by accident. I kind of ruins the thing anyways, though. Oh well, It just mindless rambling, who cares.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLimited time onlydots
    -------------------------------------------


    No one can be trusted,
    There's no one I can love.
    Everyone is fucked and
    No one even knows it.
    I feel hatred for strangers
    and people I know.
    But pity for children
    who still have to grow.
    They'll have to endure
    the world as it is
    and will be.
    I'm glad I have limited time.
    I'm glad life is short.




    Submitted on 2004-06-03 14:06:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      So some anarchy rhymes found there way in- Yashkoba! It’s all good lyke peanut butter… We are all fu<ked and SOME of US kno it. Oh well, keep telling them. Maybe someone will listen…
    Peace, love and nuclear war
    ~#6-
    | Posted on 2004-11-16 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      'Everyone is [censored]ed and
    No one even knows it.'

    to an extent i completely agree with you on this! everyone is completely fcuked and for the most part they have no idea and i feel sorry for kids who enter this world and have to grow up forever reaping the consequences of the generations before them... i never wanted to grow up (and maybe still dont) coz i ddint wanna be a grown up and ruin the world coz in my eyes thats all they did... that was almost your right for having survived the growing up process...
    seriously... im glad i discovered you... your writing has completely blown me away!
    | Posted on 2004-11-01 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      i feel as if this is summing my life as a whole into one short stanza...how sad...i especially loved the first two lines...seeing as i say that ALL the time..maybe its just a pity party but anyway....its good
    | Posted on 2004-06-05 00:00:00 | by alma-perdida | [ Reply to This ]
      it's sad and too true, don't even get me started on people i hate or dislike or just can't stand..not even individuals..just TYPES of people.....but why would you stop writing? don't do that...
    | Posted on 2004-06-05 00:00:00 | by joe quinn | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminds me Leonard Cohen's "Everybody Knows." I really like this. I really like pessimistic/depressing stuff. All of your points are valid.
    | Posted on 2004-06-03 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      The writing clearly gets the point across, but I would prefer more imagery or a little bit better word choice, it seems a bit objective throghout the reading. Another thing, writing about something like that which may be offensive to some people probably needs some evidence if you want it to really be effective. Just take for example the first 6 lines....expand more on that and show HOW or WHY (in example:"no one can be trusted"), don't just say it.
    | Posted on 2004-06-03 00:00:00 | by Refused | [ Reply to This ]
      well, this was a bummer. don't know if i agree. i do, though, agree with the children part. i work with children, and it saddens me that they have to grow up in such a fuc.ked up world. so, why not reach out to those children instead of being so defeatist? they need people to give them love and try to show them the way. don't give up!!
    | Posted on 2004-06-03 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    13141

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry