Description: I'm just rambling. I know the sixth and eighth lines rhyme, that was purely by accident. I kind of ruins the thing anyways, though. Oh well, It just mindless rambling, who cares.
Limited time only -------------------------------------------
No one can be trusted,
There's no one I can love.
Everyone is fucked and
No one even knows it.
I feel hatred for strangers
and people I know.
But pity for children
who still have to grow.
They'll have to endure
the world as it is
and will be.
I'm glad I have limited time.
I'm glad life is short.
So some anarchy rhymes found there way in- Yashkoba! It’s all good lyke peanut butter… We are all fu<ked and SOME of US kno it. Oh well, keep telling them. Maybe someone will listen… Peace, love and nuclear war ~#6-
'Everyone is [censored]ed and No one even knows it.'
to an extent i completely agree with you on this! everyone is completely fcuked and for the most part they have no idea and i feel sorry for kids who enter this world and have to grow up forever reaping the consequences of the generations before them... i never wanted to grow up (and maybe still dont) coz i ddint wanna be a grown up and ruin the world coz in my eyes thats all they did... that was almost your right for having survived the growing up process... seriously... im glad i discovered you... your writing has completely blown me away!
i feel as if this is summing my life as a whole into one short stanza...how sad...i especially loved the first two lines...seeing as i say that ALL the time..maybe its just a pity party but anyway....its good
The writing clearly gets the point across, but I would prefer more imagery or a little bit better word choice, it seems a bit objective throghout the reading. Another thing, writing about something like that which may be offensive to some people probably needs some evidence if you want it to really be effective. Just take for example the first 6 lines....expand more on that and show HOW or WHY (in example:"no one can be trusted"), don't just say it.
well, this was a bummer. don't know if i agree. i do, though, agree with the children part. i work with children, and it saddens me that they have to grow up in such a fuc.ked up world. so, why not reach out to those children instead of being so defeatist? they need people to give them love and try to show them the way. don't give up!!