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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Paindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nikkisan158
    ASL Info:    16/f/IN
    Elite Ratio:    1.13 - 3/16/22
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 131
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 495



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPaindots
    -------------------------------------------


    The pain that you have caused me. is so unreal. I keepon hoping that it is all a dream, yet i know it's not. I know that this is life. Whywould you hurt me I keep on saying if you said I was yours an you loved me an kept on telling me that. Yet you go an cause me pain.Pain that is so unreal. An it hurts with every breath that I take. Even thinking of you hurts. Why didi I fall for you an let you cause me all this pain, but I knowfor sure I am not letting you walk all over me any more.




    Submitted on 2007-01-08 19:13:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      For what it is sis, this is one of your best pieces yet, and then I think I'm actually beginning to understand why exactly you fell for Jacob...and I just wanna let you know as your sis, I understand...really...I do...
    | Posted on 2007-01-10 00:00:00 | by Twisted | [ Reply to This ]
      for what it is, its good. however you're last line seems to transition you out of the piece too early or suddenly. the fact that you go on talking about being hurt and then switch face to a "but it doesnt matter" type of thing. your piece is certainly something all of us can relate to, making it good.
    | Posted on 2007-01-08 00:00:00 | by Nero_s Decay | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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