Holy moly bro... you can say that again!!!! How did I miss this little gold nugget all this time?
Talk to you soon... we can catch up.. I'm no longer a fellow Texan... traded in everything that was bigger for the not so big I guess... everything that seemed so much bigger has shriveled... even my cell phone charger doesn't fit snug in electric outlets here... weird... just falls right out... not sure how other things fit yet.. focused on writing and recording now... talk to you soon.
Jimmy, this is a tearjerker. It's art. "" was a great move. You started out strong and you pour all your emotions in it. The one part of this whole poem inspires me to do good in the world and to share my wisdom.
" =\" This part I was a bit confused, were you sad back then or what? I think if you went "=\ " it would of been more poetic "\/" rhymes more better. Maybe if you add "" it would have been better with the first option.
"';l';" This part of the poem I had to show to my mom. My mom cried at this part. All mothers should feel like that. It is sad that her children had to grow up and then go to war. I think all mothers feel fear for her children, even when they are grown up.
"2dddddd" I agree with you 100% here. The Gorillaz is a good band and that they need to show who they actually are. 2D from that group is in fact English, can't you tell from the accent?
Next sentence, I don't know where you got this from but it sounds like something that Shakespeare would write: "l3l4';" Elite Skills will always be the way you want it even if there are little monster things running around the place. You just got to show who's the boss of the place. Keep a firm stance ready for whatever comes to you. That's what I have to say about that.
"529&(*^&*^&*#" Again, you do need to work on your structure. After the third asterisk there should follow a carrot and then another and sign. At the end there should be an end parantences. Please forgive my French. "529", it's a good German phrase, and there you go using good strong quotes. It's very romantic even if it's not a romantic language. I should go up to a girl and be like "529". "#" was very distracting. It strayed away from the whole work. It was like the new Star Wars trilogy v.s. the old Star Wars trilogy. It's very unoriginal, well at least that part.
Okay I'm going to clump the last few characters in and tell you what I think about them. They were the topping to the layer cake. I tell you that they weren't the cheap iceing to the cake, it was the good iceing. "Y4yoi3HJLRKNW" This is where it got to the tears, the caps lock on "jlrknw" just made me want to die there. I wouldn't have done better there, there's nothing that could of improved that line. Anyone else who says so is crazy, pure madness. "Y4yoi" asks why does that person want these desires. It shows that the mother has to stop being selfish and let her child's death go.
Overall, the poem was the best that I have seen in like three months. If I was to make an anology, this poem would be in there.
This moved me... I mean, wow. Something deep inside me has been stirred. The incredible use of symbols as a metaphor for the afterlife? So unique! In all my time on ES, I've never seen such an original piece.