Fallen

Author: Memphis ASL Info:    21/f/Right Here Elite Ratio:    5.13 - 130 /158 /31 Words: 46

Class/Type: Poetry /Serious Total Views: 1702 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 266

Description:

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Fallen

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"Verily, verily I say unto you, today you shall be with me in paradise," came the proclamation. Yet, I cannot remember where I came from. But I know I desperately wish to return. It is cold and dark here and the roof has sprung a leak.

Submitted on 2004-06-03 19:14:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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uh.. interesting.. I cant say i understand this but it did put some weird images in my head.. I dont know if it is the same quote.. but im relating this to what Jesus said to the murderer being crucified besides him.. and maybe (this is just what I got from it).. jesus in flesh and blood when he was in so much pain and anguish at a point just before his death he may have had a moment where he forgot who he was.. and even where he was. He forgets but knows he wants to return.. to heaven?.. Oh and another thing.. If this IS the quote you are talking about (I could be way off i know) but if it is.. thats interesting that you wrote it.. "i tell you, today you will be in paradise".. cos more accurate translations say.."i tell you today, you will be with me in paradise" wich changes the meaning.. anyway nice peice.. interesting

| Posted on 2005-06-08 00:00:00 | by shanu | [ Reply to This ]

this is really interesting. got this from looking at a physics quotient, eh? you've got quite a creative mind there! i like how you say you want to return to this paradise even though you can't remember where it is you came from. the last line is so practical! i love that about this. great job!

| Posted on 2004-06-03 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]

Wow, I really like this, some poepl may say this is too short but i think lengthening it, might take away it's mysterious quality, which i liked. Good job!

| Posted on 2004-06-03 00:00:00 | by Elegy | [ Reply to This ]

well... i liked it... it did take a different turn than I imagined it would at first, but Hey thats the whole idea of writting right... keeping the reader on their toes! Keep writting! -Eah

| Posted on 2004-09-07 00:00:00 | by Eah | [ Reply to This ]

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