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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: One Errordots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheBlackFairy
    ASL Info:    18/female/Caldwell
    Elite Ratio:    2.94 - 32/29/15
    Words: 178
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 846
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1172



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOne Errordots
    -------------------------------------------


    She stares blankly out a window,
    She fights back her tears.
    She made one mistake
    that will last threw the years.

    By telling the truth of one error,
    Those she thought were her friends
    are now bringing terror and tears.
    So she starts to pretend.

    Everything will get better,
    Or at least that’s what she says.
    Hoping she won’t have to face the sadness,
    of another friendships end.

    Now they’ve stopped speaking,
    Trying to make her regret what she’s done,
    Just one single kiss,
    Now feels like a bullet from a gun.

    If only they would understand how bad she truly felt,
    Maybe if they could see her tears
    the ice around there hearts would melt.
    Yet she holds them back along with the dignity she has left.

    As the days grow colder,
    So do the stares,
    The pierce strait threw her,
    Breaking her mask of pretend.

    One single mistake,
    This she’ll never forget,
    When you tell the truth of one error,
    You always live to regret.






    Submitted on 2007-01-11 12:57:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the very beginning, it makes you wonder what happens so that you read on. You did a very good job of developing your idea, but a few grammar mistakes kind of take away from the piece. Maybe a different form would help? Honestly, it's your choice. It's a good piece though. ^_^

    Cheers,
    ~Persephone~
    | Posted on 2007-01-12 00:00:00 | by Persephone | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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