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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: sex, blood, love, paindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dismentled
    ASL Info:    24/M/"South of Heaven"
    Elite Ratio:    4.12 - 619/553/203
    Words: 175
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 317
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1232



    Description:
       been awhile since I've written anything, thought I'd try something new :)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssex, blood, love, paindots
    -------------------------------------------


    sex, blood, love, pain
    tell me it's not all the same?
    a touch of eroticy
    a glimpse of electricity
    as it all flows
    through insatianibally

    a drip of life
    giving birth to love
    through the painful
    pleasure in sex and lust

    feel so tainted
    feel so used
    feel so wonderful
    with this "abuse"

    this dark security
    master or slave?
    SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
    I've more to say!

    sex, blood, love, pain
    I just need to feel again!
    a bite of the lip
    with shuttered eyes
    this stringent orgasm
    just in my mind?

    I can practically feel you
    within my little soul
    the breath of your body
    the touch is so cold

    let me be
    your one true love
    when
    sex, blood, and pain
    just isn't enough!

    I'll let you bleed me
    from the inside/out
    as you fuck me
    we'll scream and shout
    the pleasure of this pain
    makes me want to love again

    sex, blood, love, pain
    to me it's just all the same!




    Submitted on 2007-01-12 14:31:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I will agree to that! But tell me, what do you do when a relationship is RUN by only sex, and lust, then what happens? in the beggining when i read this i though THAT was going to be it's message but it turned out to be something incredibly different. Way to go... the first line was rather confusing, but all the same.... a job well done.

    ~MaGgIe
    | Posted on 2007-07-07 00:00:00 | by Magger32 | [ Reply to This ]
      and doesn't it just suck ass when all people really tell you is how good something is? if you disagree that's kewl but personally, i always felt it so much more rewarding to hear what my write made someone feel or think of...or how it related to their life. so here, i'll try to be my own definition of 'helpful'
    *sex, blood, love, pain
    tell me it's not all the same?
    a touch of eroticy
    a glimpse of electricity
    as it all flows
    through insatianibally*
    ~for one thing your wording was kind of lost on me there; i understood it but the way it flowed my brain picked up more on the ryhthem itself than the actual meaning....it caught up later though. sex =lust. for me anyway, unless you loved them before..than it's kinda a fine line. you suggest what would feel almost wrong to me...to accept it as that intertwined; but i've said this before, i adore your voice and its such an influence over your writing...you almost make me want to accept something like that in complete content.
    *feel so tainted
    feel so used
    feel so wonderful
    with this "abuse"*
    one of my fave parts of this write...why does one need to feel that? they were tainted to begin with...being used just comes naturally to some of us; myself very much included in that.
    *this dark security
    master or slave?
    SHUT THE [censored] UP!!!
    I've more to say!*
    that's somewhere between beautiful and brilliant- i wish i had thought of that seriously...in some respects we're never really in control of something like that but if we're a slave to ourselves can we really rule anyone else? there's a quote i heard one time; it may have even been a misquote but i still like it:
    'in the very act of having a slave, we become a slave to that need.'
    I Know it's much more moral than the sense you were writing in; i just remembered it while reading.
    *sex, blood, love, pain
    I just need to feel again!
    a bite of the lip
    with shuttered eyes
    this stringent orgasm
    just in my mind?*
    --isn't that the point where it no longer matters? I know you don't like Three Days Grace very much but have you heard their song 'pain'? "i like it rough cause i'd rather feel pain then nothing at all" maybe it has something to do with the fact that i lack personal experience :P (I dare you to make a single joke about that relating to this comment >.>) but 'stringent' just read kinda awkward in my mind.
    *I can practically feel you
    within my little soul
    the breath of your body
    the touch is so cold*
    i ilke that too, though i choose to be more emotional than your write suggests, but i'd give almost anything to feel someone else inside me like that.....i built a little world i'm sick of being in. its sad how you can want something so bad and really feel yourself getting nothing out of it... i bet you know this one;
    'touching you makes me feel alive,
    touching you makes me die inside.' <3 <3
    *let me be
    your one true love
    when
    sex, blood, and pain
    just isn't enough!*
    yeah....'i gave you everything but you screamed at me for more' at some point you wonder what is enough, if you want to be with that person in theory there's not a 'too much' but it's like people always end up feeling like there's not enough...
    *I'll let you bleed me
    from the inside/out
    as you [censored] me
    we'll scream and shout
    the pleasure of this pain
    makes me want to love again*
    undoubatably the best part of this entire write, i know your first line could be taken in the literal sense but hell, if there's not much contrast it could just mean taking everything...turning it upside down till the other person's satisfied. It's hard to beat the edge that pain gives to pleasure, of any sense really, and for some reason; pain is harder to deny.
    *sex, blood, love, pain
    to me it's just all the same!*
    not quite the impactful ending i had in mind and at the same time it was enough...although going through hell to answer your own question seems a little too ironic even for me. *sighs* i love your writing, i need your music...i can wait though; and to think you call me impatient? :P
    ~jess







    | Posted on 2007-01-20 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      This screams vugarity, but at the same time uttr passion and rage.

    I feel at lot of emotions as I let the images you describe flood my mind.

    Very Good!
    | Posted on 2007-01-19 00:00:00 | by Argola | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh wow! The rythme the flow the message! It's all so amazing and clear. I could just feel it flowing through me as I read it. All the truth in it. All the feeling in it. The only part that was a bit rocky for me was this:

    I'll let you bleed me
    from the inside/out
    as you [censored] me
    we'll scream and shout
    the pleasure of this pain
    makes me want to love again

    Specifically this line:

    as you [censored] me
    we'll scream and shout

    Kinda threw the flow off a bit. I think my favorite part was:

    feel so tainted
    feel so used
    feel so wonderful
    with this "abuse"

    and:

    let me be
    your one true love
    when
    sex, blood, and pain
    just isn't enough!


    But I loved it all. I'm adding this to my favorites. You did an amazing job for not having written in a while. I'm going through a bit of a writers block myself.
    | Posted on 2007-01-16 00:00:00 | by Raineyes | [ Reply to This ]
      great write! the part of it I luv the most:
    "sex, blood, love, pain
    I just need to feel again!
    a bite of the lip
    with shuttered eyes
    this stringent orgasm
    just in my mind?"
    those thoughts of reality mixing with dream..happens so often it seems..lol
    keep it up!! :)

    | Posted on 2007-01-16 00:00:00 | by DesecratedDream | [ Reply to This ]
      "sex, blood, love, pain
    I just need to feel again!"

    Boy, have I been there...

    "feel so tainted
    feel so used
    feel so wonderful
    with this "abuse"

    sounds like me and my ex...lol


    "I'll let you bleed me
    from the inside/out
    as you [censored] me
    we'll scream and shout
    the pleasure of this pain
    makes me want to love again"

    My favorite lines of all...All these things seem to run together, until all that is important is how it makes you feel... good job
    | Posted on 2007-01-14 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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