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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Crooked Backdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kurdy
    ASL Info:    15/female/USA
    Elite Ratio:    1.36 - 13/15/5
    Words: 308
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 141
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1920



    Description:
       I love my friends dearly.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCrooked Backdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It’s fallen! We have fallen!
    Oh! The epidemic we have seen
    And the places, and empty faces
    That voice without a scream.
    The shadow that we hungered for
    But wished of it no more
    The things…we let us separate
    Walking through that open door…

    It’s lost! Every hope has gone!
    Don’t you see their eyes?
    They empty out into a space
    That comes by sheer surprise
    And the memories…I love them so
    The ones we laughed and embraced,
    But even those are locked away
    I break inside when I remember your face.

    It came! Passed me…Why couldn’t I see!
    You could not handle it all
    It haunted you with imperfection
    Reminded you of the things you saw
    That night I trembled with fear and tears
    As your spirit flowed to mine
    And by mornings light
    You didn’t want help…said you where “fine”

    But still, I fought it! I struck it down!
    But its strength came from you…
    So even though I knew its breaking point..
    It knew my weakness too…
    It turned to me and rolled its eyes
    A mockingly type way,
    Then wore your body like lace,
    And stole my breath away

    So then I sat and stared so blank
    Into the distant sky
    And looked on God with open arms
    I whispered “Tell me why…”
    I felt his hands so soft and warm
    They led me to a place
    Where I could toss your pieces out
    And wear a different face


    I ride! I’m coming!
    With the heaven’s strength,
    To rescue the one who killed me
    Please don’t slip along the way
    I wish you where fighting beside me
    Now tell me will you come to me?
    Trust Him to pull you though?
    I wish to slay this evil thing!
    But I’d have to kill you too…




    Submitted on 2007-01-12 16:23:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The ending made me laugh! No seriously.
    First off, the rhyme made it seem almost slow singsong type of poetry, that was extremely entertaining to read out. The meaning was relatively more serious, and even with the rather fun way of the sound aspect I think the deeper meaning came across perfectly well.
    This is my favourite part:


    I ride! I’m coming!
    With the heaven’s strength,
    To rescue the one who killed me
    Please don’t slip along the way
    I wish you where fighting beside me
    Now tell me will you come to me?
    Trust Him to pull you though?
    I wish to slay this evil thing!
    But I’d have to kill you too…


    Keep writing!
    Cheers
    Azuire
    | Posted on 2007-02-03 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
      great poem its long and i like that.

    i think it has pretty good meaning too.
    | Posted on 2007-01-14 00:00:00 | by social circus | [ Reply to This ]
      Great job!

    Keep up the good work!


    - kathleen
    | Posted on 2007-01-12 00:00:00 | by kathleenbrennan | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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