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    dots Submission Name: In Love with herdots

    Author: red passion
    ASL Info:    15/m/Lost in my mind(KY)
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 117/291/81
    Words: 414
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 896
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2468


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    dotsIn Love with herdots

    It should be me,
    the one that plays with your hair,
    the one that stares into your beauful eyes,
    the one that notices every little detail about you

    It should be me,
    the one to hug you and never let go,
    the one that whispers your name and
    will hold you in his arms when your asleep

    It should be me,
    the one that can share secrets with you,
    the one that dreams about seeing you,
    rather than dreaming about fuckiing you

    It should be me,
    the one that will protect you,
    the one that makes you laugh,
    because of the stupid little things he makes up

    It should be me,
    the one you can call yours,
    the one that will be there when you wake,
    the one that you can say"I love you" to and mean it

    It should be me,
    the one that you can kiss anywhere, and still be happy,
    the one that you can depend on to comfort you
    when the worst shit in life takes you down

    It should be me,
    the one you can love and have no regrets,
    the one who can write you a Poem,
    if you feel that everthing is going wrong

    It should be me,
    the one that you show of to your friends,
    the one you can trust on never hurting you
    leaving you, cheating on you, or breaking your heart

    It should be me,
    the one that will do whatever you want,
    the one that knows that whatever happens,
    whatever you do, you'll still love him

    It should be me,
    the one you can expect to give you gifts,
    the one that can kiss you, and feel the warmth
    of your hands without you wanting him to

    It should be me,
    the one to go places with you,
    knowing that you'll only be there to cuddle,
    the one that will argue with you and laugh about it

    It should be me,
    the one you can yell at, IF
    he doesn't do what he's supposed to do,
    the one that you can call and he'll be there

    It should be me,
    the one you can point and laugh at, and
    then he'll be in full tickiling mode,LOL,
    the one that will never let you down

    It should be me,
    the one who can Love you, and Love you
    Until all time stops,
    the one that calls you his love

    Submitted on 2007-01-12 23:27:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this is a really nice piece. i like the flow and the repetition of it should be me. this is another piece of yours that can totally explain the situation between me and my friend. i know what you are going through and i know it looks like things will never go your way...but just keep on hoping and just be yourself when you are around her and hopefully she will come around.
    | Posted on 2007-01-14 00:00:00 | by kession | [ Reply to This ]
      You can tell how much you care for this person, and that you really thought about it all before. There are a few spelling mistakes, but other than that, I don't see much wrong with the poem. Like Bloomsbury, the repition is very helpful and gives the readers a since of true caring and commitment and yet your desperatness.
    | Posted on 2007-01-13 00:00:00 | by Persephone | [ Reply to This ]
      good use of repitition It should be me.
    it shows the reader the devotion or commmit ment the write has to the girl.
    it also shows perhaphs exserpation.
    all in all it a touching poem and heart felt poem.
    | Posted on 2007-01-13 00:00:00 | by Bloomsbury Set | [ Reply to This ]

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