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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Asylum Boy, Entry 13dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Darkess
    ASL Info:    12/Female/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 30/93/39
    Words: 352
    Class/Type: Story/Longing
    Total Views: 1144
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2511



    Description:
       Oh em gee, I'm in trouble now.

    I'm so sorry for the lack of posts. x_x I was sick for almost three weeks, and the first week back to school after the break... Horrid. On top of that, I started a new story (fanfiction, mind you) and wrote two chapters of that instead of talking about poor Dove. :(


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAsylum Boy, Entry 13dots
    -------------------------------------------


         Born, bloomed, fell, and was stepped on. A little child came, picked it up, and brought it to her mother. The mother put it in a bowl of water, where it flourished, before wilting once more.

         So be the life of a cherry blossom.

         ...

         I can do whatever I want now and no one can stop me.

         I have problems. No one can blame me for being a bit messed up.

         Now that I'm, well, officially insane.

         ...

         I'm being let out of my room a lot more now. Mainly because they're forcing me to get up and do something for once in my life (yes, meant literally), now that I'm allowed...

         I don't really get that. Before, they didn't know what to do with me, since no one thought I was insane but couldn't prove it either way... And I suppose no one ever found out about me. I was a secret. A little tiny mistake that'd go away if they left me alone.

         But now, everyone knows. Or at least I hope so. I don't really talk to anyone unless I have to, so I wouldn't be able to find out.

         ...

         Now I get to walk around a bit more. Most of the time there's someone hovering behind me to make sure I'm behaving and all, but I get to explore.

         I've lived here my entire life and yet everything is so different than I expected. Well, correction, I lived in one room for my entire life. Like, a box. I almost dread going back there each night, but not so much as you'd expect. It feels like home in a twisted way.

         It's bleak and it's nothing like what I've read about, but the asylum is amazing. In my view, at least. It's overwhelming, like when I went to the garden. I don't think I should write about it just yet. It's too precious and it can be my secret from you, dear diary.

         I'll tell you later.




    Submitted on 2007-01-13 19:23:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Here's a phrase from an anime/RPG series: Lunatic Garden. It stuck with me the instant I heard it, and here I think it applies.

    Nice opening, by the way.

    --crimson echo

    P.S. Pneumonia is evil. I had it in infancy and I've had breathing problems ever since.
    P.P.S. Don't worry about the lag--you're not the only writer who can't focus on the same story for weeks on end. That's the main reason I've never escaped Chapter One...
    | Posted on 2007-04-25 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]
      "...You ever watch lions at the zoo? You can tell which were captured in the wild by the look in their eyes...... But after a while, their eyes glaze over...and you can tell their soul has died. The same thing happens to a man."

    ~Augustus Gibbins

    Can't believe I missed a chapter. BAH!

    Moving on.

    Cheers.
    ~Orin
    | Posted on 2007-03-04 00:00:00 | by Orin | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh I can't wait for hime to tell...all those things that can be seen in an asylum...holy mother of grief I can't even begin to imagine.

    Going to be good...I know it and can't wait so yeah...going to be off.

    somew of your description is back...but only a bit and I see you're working on other pieces.
    Yeah must be hard to try and fill in all the blanks.

    Yet keeping up is what must be done to have the end come into sight and have the weight lifted.

    | Posted on 2007-02-02 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      <3 Been waiting for a while. But, it's okay that your were sick. Can't really help it. And I can't really control what you want to write and stuff.
    ^-^; I enjoyed this one just like the rest but, I can't help but wonder..Now that he actually is insane. What is he going to do..? Have you even decided yet?
    Or is there going to be a big escape?
    Haha. Whatever you do, I'll be waiting for the next one. <33
    | Posted on 2007-01-19 00:00:00 | by EbonyBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      \\//\\// (()) (()) T I was so waiting for asylm boy to start up again. its my story cocaine @_@

    oh and as for jet you can tell him that everyone left isketch except for a few of the good people so bassicly its not newb infested anymore
    | Posted on 2007-01-16 00:00:00 | by (Eagle) | [ Reply to This ]
       sorry you were sick for so long. (and school always sucks) anyways. the ending really was nice. it connected back to the last write, where dove said he would hide things from his diary, but dove also said he would tell his diary about the precious-ness later, showing that his diary is still his closest friend, maybe the most trusted being around him.

    i also liked how no other people were named. you didnt mention Chance or anyone, just gave a suggestion to the random people that hover around Dove, whom he doesnt pay attention to anyway. i think that was a good strategy to let the reader see that dove is now submerged in his own mind again, almost content. he doesnt need anyone. he just wants to explore.

    and, im SO glad you put in the random bits of writing at the beginning of the peices. the life of a cherry-blossom. does this mean Dove is blossoming again, before he wilts out and dies??
    that would be sad, but of course, this is your story, and i would love to see how you write it.

    -PEACE and LOVE as always
    | Posted on 2007-01-14 00:00:00 | by thehappyfaery | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this. This was something new. It did remind me of the time that I was locked in an asylum for some time. The room I understand when they do allow you walk out, and you dread to go back to it every night. It seems hopeless inside of places like that. Its just like prision. You have no control over what people do to you in there. You have to dress up into funny robes. Most of the times it smells. The crap ass vitamins. Its prision....Asylums don't help many people anymore in my beliefs they just ruin most. There completely miserable...ugh...Sorry...back to your write. I loved how the ending went. I liked it. It lead me as the reader in question what you meant. What was it that was so precious that you didn't write. Thats a great tool some authors use in there writtings, or I would like to say a hook that urges the reader to go on...Now here's my advice. Since you did that go on write another one...Ill read it. Or if your intention is to make the reader to use his/her imagination, thats a great concept to keep also...Either way. This was brilliant. And well done.
    | Posted on 2007-01-14 00:00:00 | by Crestfallenman | [ Reply to This ]


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