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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: How Do I Love Thee..dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 536
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1102



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHow Do I Love Thee..dots
    -------------------------------------------


    if you're reading this
    then the mind you thought
    so wondrous has become
    a bright smear on a window sill
    a nebulous cloud of finger
    painted color, a straining
    scrotum or an open wound

    were we happy?
    do elves dance
    with angels on
    the heads of medieval
    needles? and was
    this naked face unworthy
    of its smile?
    nothing could be
    further from the truth

    I realize we've
    always had a cash
    flow problem
    provision never seemed
    to find our resting place
    and happiness possessed
    selective memory forged
    from the same material
    as the wishful, that
    press the ink of dreams
    into false flesh

    anyway, I've tacked
    my final will
    to the fridge
    with kitchen magnets
    so you'll know precisely
    how to distribute
    all our debts...

    ...an army travels
    lightest on its belly, love
    even when the contents
    of the belly burn




    Submitted on 2007-01-14 12:57:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very nicely done, Bill. I like that there's room to misinterp this and I'm pretty sure I might have. I liked that real world problems seemed to show love as a falsehood. My take on it (and I could see it as described by others) is that he's fed up and disenchanted with life and love. You put so much of yourself into both and for bickering about things like bills (which are essentially loveless) to bring that magical world to it's knees means there's been a loss of belief. As I said I could be entirely wrong but I liked that and like the fact that this poem could offer up more the more someone spent time reading it, or if their mood/mindset changed.

    Always interesting.
    | Posted on 2007-02-11 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      if you're reading this
    then the mind you thought
    so wondrous has become
    a bright smear on a window sill
    a nebulous cloud of finger
    painted color, a straining
    scrotum or an open wound

    bill, you begin this piece with mighty metaphors reminiscent of Van Gogh's thick color strokes upon the canvass. with a carefree precision your quill makes its mark not only upon the parchment, but also the soul.
    this piece really speaks to me, bill. i am planning a marriage with my Dulcinea and i continually ponder my finances. rather the lack there of. i am not saying that you piece is solely about this but that is my first impressions of it.
    the first strophe seems to me, to be a mind straining with thoughts upon mid-life currents. a wonderful mind smeared against a window sill. perhaps seeing something desired and not realizing the obstacle in its way. a scrotum straining to ejaculate ideas, resources, and dreams. trying desperately to produce some tangible life as a tribute to your love.

    were we happy?
    do elves dance
    with angels on
    the heads of medieval
    needles? and was
    this naked face unworthy
    of its smile?
    nothing could be
    further from the truth

    this is a bold and soul searching question that all of us must ask. is there happiness, joy? is there still that enchanting element of fairy tale love swimming somewhere in the depths of serious adulthood relationships.

    I realize we've
    always had a cash
    flow problem
    provision never seemed
    to find our resting place
    and happiness possessed
    selective memory forged
    from the same material
    as the wishful, that
    press the ink of dreams
    into false flesh<i>

    this feels like a real concern branded into the illusionary flesh of hopeful dreams. a cash flow problem continues to be my most disenchanting of all my obstacles. there is some incredible imagery use here. the press of ink dreams into false flesh is my favorite metaphor. it is so rich, almost in exhaustive in meaning. well, its about time i stop babbling and finish my comment. this is not an attempt to dissect your piece and wow you with my interpretive skills, rather it is my basic honest thoughts and feelings regarding this write. simply put, i love it. well done, sir! i am going to fave. this one.

    God bless you.
    john-paul


    p.s. remember EPH. 3:20
    | Posted on 2007-01-17 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]
      midieval maladies of malnourishment and mortgage mismanagement? rather adult problems and a fantastical way of portraying them so. bills are real. the electric meter does not stop turning and one has to eat to survive. the gears turn and one grows hungry everyday. quite an interesting write and subject matter. some thoughts are rather cynical and truthful all at once. the romanticism in some parts seemed fitting as well. loved the straining scrotum part.


    "I realize we've
    always had a cash
    flow problem
    provision never seemed
    to find our resting place
    and happiness possessed
    selective memory forged
    from the same material
    as the wishful, that
    press the ink of dreams
    into false flesh"


    this one hits hardest the most. im one lazy lazarus in a cornucopia of the high-end, borrowing second hands, living on stolen computer time downloading at the speed of light on dial-up, sucking down instant coffee instead of espressos and blended treats from starbucks. smoking cheap ass cigarettes that mock me constantly (going by the names of hope, fortune, victory) 20 class A cigarettes at a time.

    god i am still so young.
    | Posted on 2007-01-16 00:00:00 | by Pietro | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
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    131978

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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