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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: M'Kaddeshdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 975
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 695



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsM'Kaddeshdots
    -------------------------------------------


    when your dark skin
    becomes the crucible
    of knowledge, and kisses
    trace the lineage of language
    long forgotten; will all
    our progeny, these heathen
    children, caress our memories
    in tongues unspoken
    loving us with graces
    as they grow?

    my lover is a shadow
    heavy with the seed
    of dreams twilight
    incantations severed
    from wishful kingdoms
    stirring the broken
    bonds of alchemy

    we are what
    we are, my love
    we neither owe
    nor expect apology
    and every shiver
    every pulsing atom's touch
    seals us with the finest pedigree




    Submitted on 2007-01-14 13:11:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ...it is not because i am a lazy reader that i tend to lean towards shorter pieces. it is because i relate to pieces that deliver their message quickly but not necessarily clearly. it is why i also enjoy short stories (especially those by james thurber).
    i particularly enjoyed M'Kaddesh because of the mood of precarious serenity.
    there is somehow the need to look over your shoulder, to chart your progress as it were and in the tone of the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayam you give us a truncated view of how it could be.
    given the chance.
    the last 7 lines are perfect and they provide a soulful punctuation mark to a glimpse of how it could be.
    given the chance.
    take it easy.
    k
    | Posted on 2007-01-26 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought your last poem was beautifully expressed but

    my lover is a shadow
    heavy with the seed
    of dreams twilight

    this one is even more lovely.
    hugs
    nessie
    | Posted on 2007-01-19 00:00:00 | by comradenessie | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this one Bill.


    when your dark skin
    becomes the crucible
    of knowledge, and kisses
    trace the lineage of language
    long forgotten; will all
    our progeny, these heathen
    children, caress our memories
    in tongues unspoken
    loving us with graces
    as they grow?

    Beautiful tribute, with just enough unknowing to show a faith in love that's real.

    my lover is a shadow
    heavy with the seed
    of dreams twilight
    incantations severed
    from wishful kingdoms
    stirring the broken
    bonds of alchemy

    we are what
    we are, my love
    we neither owe
    nor expect apology
    and every shiver
    every pulsing atom's touch
    seals us with the finest pedigree

    I like this more than anything you've written, so you have been soul searching and not necessarily your own? It's lovely and I have to keep it. Blessings to you and yours, thanks for sharing your love with us.

    Nan




    | Posted on 2007-01-15 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      holy cow.




    what else is there to say? it's incredible.

    i'm speechless.

    and i remember reading your work before the sky fell

    | Posted on 2007-01-15 00:00:00 | by ruejacobs | [ Reply to This ]


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    131981

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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