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    dots Submission Name: Fear pt 1, introductiondots

    Author: djtswing
    Elite Ratio:    5.03 - 88/95/74
    Words: 181
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 601
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1062


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFear pt 1, introductiondots

    Red flames, small embers fall from the sky. As they reach the urban lights of New York City, they become black as night itself. Viewers see it as a trick that their mind had played on them.

    Blue streaks, small waves fall from the sky over Chicago. As the windy city's wind picks up, they disappear into thin air. Little children rub their eyes, as they try to remember what they had beheld.

    All around the world, the same odd scenes are seen. The people of the urban towns are too ignorant to care much. They continue on their night walks, not wasting their time with trifle occurences.

    Although these phenomenons only last for moments, a small select few can still see them. The small colored entities crack open releasing a mist over the town.

    A man of about 47 grabs a bag and heads for his roof. Scouting the area, his face becomes downcast. He retreats into the convent of his home and packs his belongings. He whispers to himself a small, broken phrase, "They're back........"

    Submitted on 2007-01-14 14:00:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Owww...I had seen part four in posts and I said
    'well better read the first three first'

    hehe...now I'm thinkin...who are back...yet I'm about to find out. Maybe this is how I should read stories...ones that are already a good start ahead so I'm not left hanging.

    Ok...off to read the other three...oh wait

    Critique kelly, critique...k

    This could use a little more of an umf...that is to say maybe just the slightest bit more of the
    'phenomenons'...just a bit of detain maybe.

    I dunno...just a thought...K
    | Posted on 2007-01-26 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      a good little story that has a lot of potential, im excited to read part 2, although, not without fear that it may be a let down. very good idea though, unknown things falling down, and some people doing something about.
    | Posted on 2007-01-21 00:00:00 | by Ben Henzel | [ Reply to This ]

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