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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Wonder.....dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: butterfly_chi5
    ASL Info:    19/F
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 111/71/28
    Words: 224
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 623
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1513



    Description:
       this is kinda random...i worte it one night when I was alone and lonely. can one person ever truly know another? and does everything rely on trust? i wish sometiems there was a way to look inside another and knwo the truth...what they are hiding when they dont look in your eyes...


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    dotsI Wonder.....dots
    -------------------------------------------


    You may hold my heart
    in your hands
    Everything I am
    May depend on you.
    But sometimes,
    I wonder....

    Where do I really stand?
    What thoughts caress your heart?
    Am I the one who shares your life?

    You may say 'I love you'
    Every second of every day
    The choices I make
    May rely on your voice.
    But sometimes,
    I wonder.....

    What are your eyes really saying?
    Do you think of me, when we're apart?
    Where do your true desires lie?

    You may call
    and ask to see me
    My plans for the day
    May hinge on your choice.
    But sometimes,
    I wonder.....

    Do you really want me there?
    Are your words your true choices?
    Or do you have something else you'd rather do?

    You may hold me tight
    after we lie together in darkness
    My emotions
    May cling to your acceptance.
    But sometimes,
    I wonder.....

    Am I the one you see in your dreams?
    Does your future, depend on my own?
    What one thing, makes your life worth living?

    My doubts are obsessive
    they question everything you do
    I want to trust in our love
    and know you are truth.
    But sometimes,
    I wonder.....

    Where do I really stand?
    What thoughts caress your heart?
    Am I the one who shares your life?




    Submitted on 2007-01-15 13:12:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this poem. A lot of people can relate to your words, I'm sure. Most people do have quetions and doubts in relationships and some tend to become overwhelming over time. The only critism is spell check on lie lye* and your rhyme on "everything you do", truth into true*
    | Posted on 2007-03-10 00:00:00 | by Frivilous _ | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it. It shows true feelings that are very common, particularly where relationships are concerned. There's always an "I wonder" somewhere, even if well buried within a facade of self-confidence.

    Ultimate faith can never be placed in mortals who are universally prone to failure at one time or another. This is true even of oneself, but then at least you have only yourself to blame. One must always rely on forgiveness if a relationship is to be maintained because we all fail sooner or later in some respects, even if it's only due to wrong-thinking.

    Mechanically and poetically I see no faults at all, it's very well done and well conceived.
    | Posted on 2007-02-22 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem does not stand well with me, I can't really say why but I just don't like it, when reading it, it just made me mad, because it sounds as if your life depends on a guy being your boyfriend and that is upsetting because it shouldn't, a boyfriend should not dicated your day what you do or who you hang out with, it also was upsetting because how can you be alone and be going out with someone?? isn't that a point in a relationship to hang out with that person more often then the norm? I don't know if your life depends on one person and what they are doing then you really need to think about wheater or not your relationshup with them is healthy.

    ~liz~
    | Posted on 2007-01-15 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]


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