Fallen World -------------------------------------------
The drums continue to beat
The stars cease to shine
Life begins to fail
Here in the fields of crimson lies
Azure skies turn to black
As smoke rises from bodies burned
The stench of war wreaks havoc
The sounds of agony plague all
Here where the world ends
Man flees from the beast and still is beaten
Failed in faith they fall by the hundreds
Fields of rose’s burn
Their scent turned to death
Famine takes control
Plague takes their souls
Here where the stars forgot to shine
All will die because man cannot cease their lies
Here in the fallen world.
Ouch. And Oh So True. The message in this is made very, very clear and again I thought the last two lines were brilliant. But the imagery in this was amazing...the inclusion of the multiple bodily senses - sight, smell and hearing - was very clever as it adds to the image you've built up. The reader doesn't just imagine the sight of the burned bodies, but also the smells and sounds which throws you right in the middle.
I also liked the reference to the stars, the contrast between the drums still beating out their rhythm and the stars fading...draws a stark contrast between that which man has made destroying that which nature in her far better wisdom has made, and makes the feeling of isolation and lonliness in the poem even more profound.