Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Pill


Author: _Phoenix
ASL Info:    18/F/FL
Elite Ratio:    4.56 - 46 /31 /21
Words: 48
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1031
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 289



Description:


... random idea quirked into my head, and i wrote.
enjoy. - Phoenix


Pill



I cannot see
I cannot hear
Yet even now I feel your fear.
I sense your terror
Lying deep inside.
For although I cannot see behind
And even though my eyes are blind
Now you know there's not a pill
That can keep you from my mind.




Submitted on 2007-01-16 16:24:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  im confused...But i like pills...^.^ lol
| Posted on 2007-01-19 00:00:00 | by 2xhatedxsoulx2 | [ Reply to This ]
  iight, what I got from this piece was someone knows someone fully, inside and out, and no matter how they try to change themselves with pills, the main character knows who the pill popper is.

That's what I got from your piece. The only thing I'd change is flesh it out a bit..


Sam
| Posted on 2007-01-16 00:00:00 | by Falling Rain | [ Reply to This ]
  I hate pills, no matter what kind, but were you on pills when you wrote this cause i'm kinda confused and not very bright so can you let me know what i'm missing. I think you meant though in the 3rd line not know, but hit me back and let me know what the random idea is, and i'm not trying to be rude just curious.
| Posted on 2007-01-16 00:00:00 | by Lil gal | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



132227