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    dots Submission Name: reflectiondots

    Author: social circus
    ASL Info:    16/M/LA
    Elite Ratio:    1.66 - 17/57/36
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 660
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 567


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    and i saw a reflection of a life unwanted
    i thought of fear of changes and fear of getting old

    when i look to the the mirror in the stars
    i saw a life i need and a oldman i couldnt wait to be

    then i saw a reflection of kid in me who was smileing
    i saw a reflection of my innocence and the life i could have lived.

    i revealed a mirror of me and the tears that were falling.
    i saw a puddle of blood and a needle.

    when i get older i want to tell my kids to swim in water not blood.

    Submitted on 2007-01-16 17:38:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really enjoyed the last line of this poem

    "when i get older i want to tell my kids to swim in water not blood."

    very clever.. i don't know about the rest of it though. I think the concept is great but it might need a little work. Oh and in the 4th line i think it should be an oldman instead of "a oldman". but good work and keep writing

    -J. Ackson Jr.
    | Posted on 2007-01-16 00:00:00 | by JAcksonJr | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this piece, the inward reflection upon ur mirror, what a clever idea, i give you props for being so insightful into urself. great job.
    | Posted on 2007-01-16 00:00:00 | by Lil gal | [ Reply to This ]
      awwww. awsome write. I digg the end line.
    | Posted on 2007-01-16 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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