[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: Lil gal
    ASL Info:    32/F-ya/here
    Elite Ratio:    3.19 - 355/216/36
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 857
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 655

       This stems from something I said in the shoutbox and I just ran with it. Let me know what you think and don't be afraid to be harsh cause it's a different style for me.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I'm going to go for a walk to clear my head of all the cobwebs that are in there being spun by too much thought.
    The enemy lurks within my over-wrought brain with the planted seeds of ideas.
    Knowledge that should be buried not come to fruition.

    Truthes denied.

    A pawn in life's cruel game, a puppet whos strings are pulled taut.
    Realization of harsh facts.

    Seeking desperate control.

    Trying to sever the cords that bind, taking the reins of life.
    Staying true to values and the one's I value.
    Let go self-doubt,
    I hold the power over you.

    Submitted on 2007-01-17 10:22:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Introspection to the nth degree! Poses the classic question: how can we come the truth of anything while foundering in sea of lurid and absured media-made pseudo-news...we need some silence! Very well expostulated here... a wonderful poem ... bravo ... bravo ... Michael
    | Posted on 2007-01-24 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      very profound...packs quite a punch.

    'Let go self-doubt,
    I hold the power over you.'

    those two lines are amazing, so much is said there. the reader (well, me anyway!) actually feels better just having read it. a wonderful sense on self awareness in this piece. i like how you think...it makes the reader think, too. which is great. i enjoyed this, i think on a personal level for me, because i'm trying to 'let go of self doubt' as we speak, as i tried to put into my poem 'Journey'. i am trying to be more confident and sure of myself...failing miserably, too! lol
    anyway, enough of me babbling at ya,
    great piece. you have delved into your mind deep for this, it shows wonderful talent...keep 'em coming!!
    nice job,
    | Posted on 2007-01-18 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]
      Seeds of doubt cannot become weeds unless we fertilize them with lack of confidence! I really enjoyed this poem and know you'll eventually pick a title that suits it well. Smiles, Sharon
    | Posted on 2007-01-17 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]
      yes, its different from your usual style but that doesnt stop it from being a great piece~excellent expression of your feelings~nice work hun :)
    | Posted on 2007-01-17 00:00:00 | by DesecratedDream | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, what a powerful poem. great write. keep up the good work

    J. Ackson Jr.
    | Posted on 2007-01-17 00:00:00 | by JAcksonJr | [ Reply to This ]
      wow! this is so deep
    i can relate to your feelings..
    you feel tired and exhausted from thinking and trying to see things from a different point of view, you just want peace and self realization .
    | Posted on 2007-01-17 00:00:00 | by flaming_text | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really strong write that I really like
    In this write
    I believe you are speaking of someone perhaps yourself that has become fed up living the life others have choosen for you to live
    I agree that a person is never free until they choose to live the life that was destined for them not the life others have created for them
    Excellent Work!!!
    I miss talking to you in chat
    Please keep in touch
    God Bless

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    | Posted on 2007-01-17 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Genesis written by saartha
    Stretto written by saartha
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]