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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: to late to save my lifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: social circus
    ASL Info:    16/M/LA
    Elite Ratio:    1.66 - 17/57/36
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 665
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 723



    Description:
       this used to be a poem i had on here and i took it off.
    now im putting it back on because i really like it and i want it back. lol


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsto late to save my lifedots
    -------------------------------------------


    i cant i find out what went wrong
    lost a rythm and lost a song

    am i to late to save my life
    it cuts to me sharp as a knife

    i cant believe this was untrue
    your stareing down i stare at you

    will you please hear my words i sing
    dear lord get me through this thing

    if i stay up all night on the phone
    dont hear your voice i dont hear a tone

    you are silent it hurts me
    you are gone what will i do what will i be

    as my tear falls on the page
    there is no point to get on stage

    why should i get up and sing this song
    it wont do right ill just feel wrong.





    Submitted on 2007-01-17 17:55:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You need to work on grammar and spelling. It has a pretty nice beat but seems a little bit redundant at parts. Pretty good idea though, it gets a 6.5 out of 10 from me.
    | Posted on 2007-01-20 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]
      It has a nice beat to it. I like this part:

    why should i get up and sing this song
    it wont do right ill just feel wrong.

    | Posted on 2007-01-17 00:00:00 | by Uthmaan | [ Reply to This ]
      This ist pretty good, I hope singing/stage is a metaphor for life cause that makes this nice. Subject matter doesn't seem too deep, but never has to as long as the writing is good, and this is, so it's still a good read.
    | Posted on 2007-01-17 00:00:00 | by dawfemme | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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