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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: an observation of a joyous day.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: spartan089
    ASL Info:    17/male/WA
    Elite Ratio:    4.09 - 12/9/10
    Words: 299
    Class/Type: Misc/Happy
    Total Views: 136
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1676



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsan observation of a joyous day.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I sit stirring up the murky river bed with my feet hanging from the log I sit on.

    She sits elegantly clad in purple butterflies in a blue world known to us as a dress.

    The heat over takes every inch of my body with a vice so strong that only a gentle glacier stream can break.

    But a warning to those that seek this refreshment! As soon as you lift your cooled feet from the water’s grasp the heat will take your feet back as quickly as a hummingbird beats its wings.

    She wades her feet through the slimy river bed. She flurries back to shore to change. Pondering comes upon her. Then an idea is struck! Put on the suit underneath her dress. She Succeeds! But with a minor hitch, after undoing her top button to loosen her dress her breast had become exposed when she was wiggling into the suit. She recovered with a jump around hiding her misfortune.

    Next she trudges upriver and falls into the cooling river. The heat no longer has its’ grasp upon her even when she emerges out of the water. The river sticks to her, constantly covering her body in its cooling grasps. But only as long as she stays with the river, which might be forever.

    She dances on the log so beautifully and gracefully talking about god and love with so much truth in her voice.

    The water has chilled her breasts, making them perk.
    The suit sticks to her body making every curve very apparent.

    The sun peaks out from the clouds shining through the murk in the river letting us see the bed on which we walk.

    We sit on a log.
    Close, loved and warm.




    Submitted on 2007-01-17 21:11:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this one :) it was really simple...though i don't know if I'd really want to hear it read out loud....you could have put this as like....what "random" or misc/thoughts too. its poetic in the sense that the character is able appreciate the other person but not so much in the wording itself; which is perfectly fine because there are so many writers that write shyt they actually classify as 'poetry' and yet they sound like they're trying to write an essay. ha, point being people suck. sorries about ranting randomly in the middle of my comment lol. nice write
    ~jess
    | Posted on 2007-01-20 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is pretty good. Haha, when Jered read this on monday, the perky breast part sounded so funny. lol. Yes. That was funny.

    Anyways, good Misc/Happy piece of writing. lol.

    G-unit, son!
    Well done.

    peace.
    -Kamerin
    | Posted on 2007-01-18 00:00:00 | by Kamerin Brown | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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