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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Promisesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Zabriel
    ASL Info:    22/MI
    Elite Ratio:    4.8 - 122/120/63
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 824
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 767



    Description:
       I wasn't going to post until my ratio was up a little, but I really wanted to get this up and out of my journal.

    It's not very good, I think you can tell that it's journal poetry, but I really wanted to get it out there. Any and all comments are appreciated, but I really would like to make some personal connections on this one. If you could offer a bit of guidance for me on a personal level, I'd be greatly endebted to you. If you have technical and artistic advice I would like that as well.

    Thanks. Bedtime. Goodnight ES.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPromisesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Please don't speak
    Lest I shatter
    I don't think I can stand
    To hear your voice now
    Your sweet words are tainted
    With shards of broken promises

    Your words cut in deep
    Your gentle tongue
    Caresses my soul
    Like a razor 'cross my wrist
    The sharpest knife there is
    Forged from broken promises

    No blame do I place
    Save in the fates
    Anguish remains
    But it's nobody's fault
    The cards showed a new destiny
    As uncertain as the wind

    I still feel the hurt
    Dealt by circumstance
    My lifeblood spills
    Cut without malice
    Yet prostrate I do lay
    Killed by your broken promises




    Submitted on 2007-01-17 23:17:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      painful...i liked it i thought it was very affective the wording and all of it. I think at one point or another all people who like to write will create something like this, and one thing i like about this piece is its affective 'cause i know the ones i worte were pure crap haha. But it sucks to be able to write something like that because its a crappy way to feel.

    The last time something like that happened to me which wasn't so long ago, i thought about it over and over again. Every instance i ever felt like that i put them all together like a puzzle and identifide everything that i did, once you know how it happened and how you didn't see it its easier to stop. But things get better wounds heal and you'll change becxause of it. Things like this suck but something good had to have come out of it, theres always good in the bad and bad in the good.

    -Ira
    | Posted on 2007-01-18 00:00:00 | by ira | [ Reply to This ]
      The worst type of feeling is the broken promises from the people we love.
    I personally had this experience with my boy friend because he used to break all his promises. It went on up to the point that i couldn't take it anymore and wanted to dump him because after the pain and the tears, you get numb and that pain is no longer painful mainly because you're accustomed to it. Although we're still together, the tears that i cried was probably an atlantic ocean and he realized that after 3 years. I wouldn't recommend those tears to you. It eats you away up to the point that you want to end your life. And love can do that.

    My personal advice to you is to keep yourself occupied so that you wouldn't have time to think about all the things he's done to you. If you can't do that, then i'd suggest to re evaluate how you think your relationship went and come to a conclusion whether this is what you want. If your gut says "no" but you have a slight doubt, then it means no you don't want this despite the excuses you might create.

    Don't give in to temptation. You might get lucky to have a guy understand what you've been through but the majority are unlucky. The possibility of you getting unlucky is far greater than being lucky.

    In terms of the piece, i wouldn't suggest anything because i've written stuff like these before and i look back at them only to be reminded of the bad times i had to appreciate all the good times.

    Take care....

    Irina
    | Posted on 2007-01-18 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      promises can hurt. thats why i never make em so i dont break em. on a personal level... i think you should just saunder on in a fu.ck the world and everybody in it kind of way and do whatever the hell you want. but always, it is easier said than done isnt it?

    believe it or not, i used to write stuff like this. alot. i mean realllly. what bothered me was that i hated myself for writing them coz it stunted any artistic growth. true it is expression. but isnt creative writing something one would like to read over and over again..? there's always some other emotion to express anyway. would you like to keep reading stuff like this in future? dont worry, though. when you get stronger, this piece will be somewhat funny to you.

    peace.

    -pietro
    | Posted on 2007-01-18 00:00:00 | by Pietro | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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