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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: When Death Can Smiledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Acid
    ASL Info:    17/M/Newport, WA
    Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 103/159/76
    Words: 130
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 859
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 933



    Description:
       This has been one of my favorites since after the destruction of my block, it's fun, let's see if any of you get it. "You probably will, and if your don't, go back to school.)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen Death Can Smiledots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sitting on a pale horse,
    Atop the ashes,
    Those of your ancesters.
    You smile. You're dead.

    Your face went ridgid long ago,
    Your arms left taut for centuries.
    How can the darkness feel so lovely?
    How do you still smile?

    Flesh was like a first love,
    Lusting for your youth, then leaving you cold.
    Keep that mask on,
    Keep your tears.

    Riding atop the moon,
    Dancing with the stars,
    Crying to the night.
    And still you smile.

    You breathe their pain,
    Devour it, drown in it.
    Satiate your thirst,
    Your smile.

    Carve the land,
    Cull the weak.
    Revert to agony.
    Return to dust.

    Beneath that folding cloak,
    Where light never touches,
    Lays the shattered remains.
    A mask of death, of pain. Your smile.




    Submitted on 2007-01-18 12:07:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
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    ||| Comments |||
      Your face went ridgid long ago,
    Your arms left taut for centuries.
    How can the darkness feel so lovely?
    How do you still smile?

    this whole thing is wonderful! it's easy to read, and you could apply something different to it no matter who you are, relate in some way.

    besides that it feel like a legend, and i love poetry that sounds like that...like a story of some sort, not just a metaphor. It's nice when you can have a metaphor or some deeper meaning, but when it tells a cool and beautiful story along with symbolism, imagery, and sounding good and being technically correct...then it's a favorite...which is what i'm doing with this

    ~chaos~
    | Posted on 2007-03-26 00:00:00 | by whispered_chaos | [ Reply to This ]
      Riding atop the moon,
    Dancing with the stars,
    Crying to the night.
    And still you smile.

    Beautiful. Truly... So rare a find.
    | Posted on 2007-01-30 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngelKat | [ Reply to This ]
      is this talking about a drug? i dont know why but in the first stanza gives me a picture of somebody on drugs who just smiles. then at the end here "A mask of death, of pain. Your smile."..maybe its saying your putting on an act
    i don't fu*ckin know...can you translate to me? lol

    anyways if im wrong or right, it stills sounds good and i enjoyed it

    it would be better if it was more clear to me..
    | Posted on 2007-01-26 00:00:00 | by Ani | [ Reply to This ]
      If anything then I feel sated with this piece. I don't remember when was the last time I read something so utterly invasive and limitless. Dear heavens it's good to have you back on ES. The picturesque, expressive poetry had been in lack and now it's safe o say that my mind can rest. Absolutely beautiful!
    | Posted on 2007-01-21 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      Riding atop the moon,
    Dancing with the stars,
    Crying to the night.
    And still you smile.


    I think this part is beautiful...
    | Posted on 2007-01-20 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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