Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Memory Lanedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ChrystalR
    ASL Info:    23/Female/Norway
    Elite Ratio:    5.14 - 126/121/58
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 691
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 643



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMemory Lanedots
    -------------------------------------------


    ... ... ...
    I have no sweet wish to walk it
    The shadowy memory lane
    Yet the strongest and wildest desire
    Will not rage wildly in vain

    I want that brighter blue sofa
    And the untidy blanket of love
    Perhaps only for a moment
    I wish to feel what I am of

    With Adam sleeping beside me
    tasting the apple of eve
    Ill kiss his nose for a moment
    while praying that I can believe

    And if I should fall down again
    down memory lane on high heels
    My love and yours will forever
    Walk its shadow like fallen ideals




    Submitted on 2007-01-19 10:38:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is very interesting... I was first captured by your title, because it is also the title of an Elliott Smith song, and so I just wondered what your take on this memory lane could be. While filled with some sorts of symbolism and more abstract ideas, you introduce a blue sofa in the second stanza- is this somehow symbolic for something I did not pick up on? It just seemed somewhat out of place.
    "And if I should fall down again
    down memory lane on high heels"
    These lines were for some reason especially striking to me because of the imagery of high heels... hmm.
    "Walk its shadow like fallen ideals"
    This one takes awhile to wrap your mind around- I like things that do that.
    I'll have to read some more-
    Lucy
    | Posted on 2007-01-19 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    132522

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love written by saartha
    Etiquette written by saartha
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Cover written by saartha
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Carry written by saartha
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry