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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: As She Weptdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ChrystalR
    ASL Info:    23/Female/Norway
    Elite Ratio:    5.14 - 126/121/58
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 790
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 662



    Description:
       I despise men who make war, men who joins war and men who fight in a war. I despise people who hurt children.
    Its weak.
    SHE is god, mother nature, whomever you wish to call her. She is the one crying when children are tortured.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAs She Weptdots
    -------------------------------------------


    ..
    And as a thousand red tears fell silently
    while ghostly men without soul
    wrote their evil in her blood

    tore her heart out from within

    While the baby dangeled limp in hand of man
    and mothers wept by the sight
    of their dying children on her ground
    Under our honorable feet

    As the raped women licked her blood
    In an insane madness of burning dust
    Fire ate their minds

    No red tear fell with more weight
    than those of mankind

    Each carrying the sins of thousands in their hands




    .. ... ..




    Submitted on 2007-01-19 19:53:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Although it's unweildy and unpolished, there's a lot here. The imagery is very strong, and evocative, and it makes the somewhat choppy set up work. In fact, I think that's half of what makes it work. You could polish it more, but there's definitely something here. Play with it a little, I think you might have gold here.
    | Posted on 2007-01-20 00:00:00 | by Clarkie | [ Reply to This ]


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