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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You reviseddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sweet_rayne
    ASL Info:    25/f/canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.86 - 493/464/111
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Misc/Love
    Total Views: 995
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 818



    Description:
       this is revised in the sense that i added to it lol, as for the rhyming sequence it is supposed to be like that,


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou reviseddots
    -------------------------------------------


    You came to me
    One dark snowy night

    You pulled me from the
    Darkness and showed me light

    You taught me how
    To smile again

    By showing me there is
    No shame in shedding tears

    You taught me to live again
    By helping me over come my fears

    You showed me how to laugh once more
    By helping me break down my many doors

    I can see beauty in all that surrounds me
    Because you turned me inside out

    Because of you I learned to feel
    Even when I knew it wouldn’t last

    But because of you my life is real
    And you will always be a happy memory in my past

    A memory to get me through each day
    Because I knew you could never stay




    Submitted on 2007-01-20 01:58:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Joy,
    I like the revisions you made. I honestly believe it is a better write for its changes. That is the great thing about being a writer you can always go back and change something if you don't like it. Its better than being an artist in my opinion because paint doesn't erase and pencil and ink do. Keep up the great work my friend.


    Sage
    | Posted on 2007-01-20 00:00:00 | by sageeriol | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    132598

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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