[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: you are my everythingdots

    Author: poet09
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 157/162/122
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 968
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 624

       to all the ppl dat read this give me criticism that this needs and don't hold back tell me what you reallly think

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsyou are my everythingdots

    all those days i wish you were here to be with me

    why are things the way they are...

    we used to do everything that lovers do

    kiss hug maybe sometimes sex but it wasn't even about all that...

    we said we was gonna be together for ever

    and now we are apart for what?

    baby you are my everything...

    what do i have to get you to come back in my life

    my everything my soulmate and my friend

    my companion...

    i will stop at nothing to have you back in my life again

    Submitted on 2007-01-20 12:15:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This was alright but it has alot of portential, I think need to use more decribing words about your partner, and the flow was kinda of choppy other than that it was good.

    Hope to hear from you and keep up the good work

    | Posted on 2007-01-20 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]
      this has a lot of potential to be really good.
    i don't really like it that much.
    it's not really giving some kind of theme for it to be calling for more detail.
    it's like you're actually talking to that person so it's not really like a poem.
    and the format was kinda confusing.
    you have talent, you can do better.

    | Posted on 2007-01-20 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Once Again written by krs3332003
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Push written by JanePlane
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Love written by saartha
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Every..... written by jackz
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Whiteout written by layDsayD




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]