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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: you are my everythingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: poet09
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 157/162/122
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 959
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 624



    Description:
       to all the ppl dat read this give me criticism that this needs and don't hold back tell me what you reallly think


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsyou are my everythingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    all those days i wish you were here to be with me

    why are things the way they are...

    we used to do everything that lovers do

    kiss hug maybe sometimes sex but it wasn't even about all that...

    we said we was gonna be together for ever

    and now we are apart for what?

    baby you are my everything...

    what do i have to get you to come back in my life

    my everything my soulmate and my friend

    my companion...

    i will stop at nothing to have you back in my life again




    Submitted on 2007-01-20 12:15:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      This was alright but it has alot of portential, I think need to use more decribing words about your partner, and the flow was kinda of choppy other than that it was good.

    Hope to hear from you and keep up the good work

    Max
    Aka
    Lil'mix
    | Posted on 2007-01-20 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]
      this has a lot of potential to be really good.
    i don't really like it that much.
    it's not really giving some kind of theme for it to be calling for more detail.
    it's like you're actually talking to that person so it's not really like a poem.
    and the format was kinda confusing.
    you have talent, you can do better.
    Peace<3

    <bleedingtears>
    | Posted on 2007-01-20 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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