This was alright This topic is always written on and this really didn't stand out. 1st don't try to use the line
"Have you ever fallen so hard" over and over.
It's get boring it make the peice seems to last forver and it might make a reader go bla blah bla.
If u might use some metaphors in the piece descring the way he might make you weak when you stand next to him, ur his touch when he hold you, this would really help the piece out.remeber these r just ideas. if really love him really but some thougt into it. this is just a work in progress.I'm not trying to say th is piece not horrible beceasue no piece is bad becuase every piece has somthing connected to writer. You have good start but it's just needs some work. o yeah remeber your only 16 love is a big word at this age, i already made that mistake.