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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Demon and The Musedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Non-Sens-Uality
    Elite Ratio:    2.94 - 67/80/53
    Words: 199
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 840
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1474



    Description:
       ...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Demon and The Musedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm on a journey, left from hell, eternities diffuse -
    Lost through the numbers, and through forms
    I found a silver muse...

    Her melodies were waves so red, of passion, my first thought
    And entering her labyrinth,
    Her mind, I think, I sought...

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    My worlds were lines of sin ethereal, of crystals and dark flames
    I left an ice palace and oceans
    Entering enchanting games...

    Became an architect of heavens, with clouds of pain in endless blue
    My eyes reflected the dark matter
    Until the white fog, until you...

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    Observing her, as twisted thoughts, ideas of a child
    A nymphet still, longing for ice -
    I wanted fire, her, so wild...

    To dive in fractals of her mind, to lure her teary eyes
    To end the innocence within
    Became an angel in disguise...

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    The sounds of rain, touching his wings, I know he is not real
    Neither am I, nor will I be
    And still he makes me want and feel.

    And he reminded me of darkness, the essence that I was, sublime
    And now my journey is distorted
    An empty space, eternal time...




    Submitted on 2007-01-20 18:30:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow this is really nice!keep it up.
    | Posted on 2007-01-21 00:00:00 | by girly101 | [ Reply to This ]
      It's truly surreal and abstract but the idea didn't get lost in the illusions and that's what I esteem the most. The poem stretches through time and space and all is relative like the sheer presence of your own mind within the raptures of this poem's world wherein this muse of yours enacts as a guide to the unknown. It's beautiful. Absolutely.
    | Posted on 2007-01-21 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      First stanza flows really well though you spelled <diffuse> wrong.The second verse doesn't really match the quality of the first-lines seem rushed or hard to fit into the rhythm.Third verse is better,I like the third line of the first part-nice variation.Last stanza is good quality also.I like the rhyming scheme you use-quite daring and you almost pull it off (so to speak).A few adjustments would make it great I feel.
    Cheers
    A.C
    | Posted on 2007-01-20 00:00:00 | by Asakura Cowboy | [ Reply to This ]


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    132637

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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