[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: ...ye are but children...dots

    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    58/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2778/1297/258
    Words: 58
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 503
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 507

       ~don't rightly know~

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots...ye are but children...dots

    silly little girl
    swimming in a pool
    of stars, awkward lad
    tongue thick with curses
    reserved for heaven

    'you're sparks of light
    feigning wisdom'
    they pungently observe
    'mocking every attribute
    you're given'

    'we are men and women, we know this...'

    'how did you come
    to be a mystery?'


    'why are you smiling?'

    Submitted on 2007-01-20 21:45:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hi Bill,

    Since you don't rightly know, do you mind if I take a stab it it?
    I think you have classic theme here of the mystery between Venus and Mars, male and female. Because I'm a woman and men often
    seem in awe of what we might say (on a profound day that is).

    And I will tell you that there are things we know that we cannot explain, we like to give them to others, even if they don't make sense. And seldom do the things women say, make sense to men.

    I'm probably just getting into trouble here. The fact that you let your writing take you where it wants to, that is the point. Sweet and tender, it is, thanks for sharing!

    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      such a pretty snapshot. made me think of rapunzel after the escape from the tower. i wrote about her once, but in the end, she strangled the prince to death instead of healing his eyes. guess morbidity is my natural state....
    | Posted on 2007-01-22 00:00:00 | by ruejacobs | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Push written by JanePlane
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Linger written by saartha
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Every..... written by jackz
    AI written by poetotoe
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Wavelength written by saartha
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]